Asuka's Project
by Fuyutsuki
Summary: Asuka's tired of being treated like a child, so she decides to do something about it.
1. Part 1

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. 

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

Stupid Shinji. Asuka frowned as she washed the dishes. Why the hell had he dirtied so many to make dinner? It hadn't been necessary, and then having the nerve to hide behind Misato when she's told him to wash his share. 

The wimp. Wuss. Pansy. She would have hit him if it weren't so easy. Stupid, spineless Shinji. And here she was up to her elbows in dirty water. "Damn it," she growled. 

It wasn't just Shinji either. The others at school just thought she was a bitch; they didn't fear her any longer, and that was unacceptable. 

But her techniques had always worked, always gotten her what she wanted. It wasn't so easy to just change like that. 

Asuka's eyes suddenly lit up. 

* * *

"Hey, Misato, can I go to the command center with you today?" 

Misato grunted something that might have been "school". 

Asuka waved it off. "Oh, it's one of those stupid career days. I thought it might be interesting to see what you do when you're not ordering me to kill angels." 

Without lifting her head, Misato grunted in the affirmative, too tired to even care. 

She had to admit, when there wasn't any sort of emergency, the command center was a really boring place. Currently, Asuka was watching one of the techs whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember play a huge game of minesweeper on the main screen. He still had a few thousand mines left to find. 

Sighing, Asuka looked around with as much casualness as she could muster. Still as a grave... Even Misato was sitting, reading a magazine. "So where is everyone?" 

"When there isn't an alert, everyone either goes on stand-by or maintenance." Misato looked up from her magazine. "I, of course, get maintenance," she said flatly. 

Asuka looked around again. "So... what do the commanders do now?" she asked. 

"Who knows?" Misato was once again involved in the magazine. "Do whatever it is commanders do... watch MTV, Play Nintendo..." 

"I can assure you it is neither of those things, Major." 

Misato's feet slipped off the desk she had them propped upon, and she practically threw her magazine on the floor. "Of course not, sir," she said crisply, cheeks reddening. 

"The UN wishes to cut our budget once again," Commander Ikari said, standing behind his usual console. Fuyutsuki was, as ever, with him. 

"Again? We're already operating with less than optimal resources!" 

"Yes, Major. And that is what we have been doing. Not watching MTV or playing...." Gendo looked up at the main screen, adjusting his glasses. "Minesweeper." 

Asuka heard the tech swallow loudly as she gazed up at the two commanders. 

"Of course, sir." There was a tightness to Misato's voice, but that was the only indication that she had been horribly embarrassed. 

For a brief moment, Commander Ikari's eyes met Asuka's, and the light was so that they weren't hidden by any glare or reflection off his glasses. 

She felt like a bug being slowly dissected, even in such a short amount of time. Her body almost betrayed her, wanting to shrink back under that look, but she would not allow it. Asuka met the commander's gaze dead on. 

"What is the second child doing here?" 

Concise, to the point. No need to worry about whose toes were being stepped upon. 

"She's here--" Misato began. 

"Career day at school, sir," Asuka announced loudly so everyone would know she was addressing the commander. "I was curious what went on during a non-emergency state." Again, he looked at her, but the light reflected off his glasses, hiding his eyes. 

"And the Third Child?" 

"I don't think he cares much to follow in your footsteps. Sir." She gave the commander the tiniest of grins, still staring right where his eyes should have been. She glimpsed sub-commander Fuyutsuki raising an eyebrow. 

Without another word, Commander Ikari turned and walked away with Fuyutsuki following. 

There were audible releases of breaths as he disappeared, and even Asuka realized she had been holding her own. 

"Well," she said loudly, laughing a little, "that was fun." 

* * *

"Shinji, take out the trash." 

"But it's your turn, Asuka." 

She turned and leveled her gaze at him. 

Somehow, he held it for a moment, then flinched away. "Fine." 

When he left, Asuka smiled gleefully. 

* * *

"You know, Misato, it's totally pointless for me to go to school. I know more than the teachers do, and all the kids are so immature." 

Misato just looked at her. 

"I'd be much more interested in getting familiar with the command center. After all, I'll have your position one day," she said, hands on hips. 

With one eyebrow twitching, Misato drained her beer. 

* * *

"She doesn't want to go to school." 

"She doesn't really have to. She already has one degree." 

"Yeah, Ritsuko, but--" 

"You just don't want to have her around you all day." 

Misato put her head down and groaned. "Sometimes I wonder how Shinji deals with her." 

"As little as he has to probably. But if you really don't want her here, you have to tell her. I don't blame her actually; I wouldn't want to be in school either." She patted Misato on the shoulder. "You won't have to babysit her... Make Shigeru do it." 

Misato lifted her head. "Why me?" 

The sub-commander. Yeah. No need to bother the commander with it. "Sir, if I could talk to you for a moment?" 

"Yes, Major?" 

"I'm having a small... situation with Asuka. She doesn't want to go to school; she says she'd prefer to spend her days here." 

That brought Fuyutsuki up short. The second child... every day? This was no time for personal biases though. "I... suppose it's not a... problem. We'll have to find something for her to do though." 

"Of course, sir." Hoo boy. The shit was really going to hit the fan. 

* * *

"Waha! Shinji, go do the dishes for me. I'm too important to do housework!" 

"Asuka, it's your turn," Misato grumbled, holding her hand to her head. She was in a permanent hangover now. 

"Shinji will do them." 

"No, you'll do them." 

Swearing to herself, Asuka realized Misato wasn't paying any attention. Misato didn't seem to realize that in the house, Asuka was the smartest one and should have been afforded a little more respect. As it was, she treated like just another fourteen year old. Unacceptable. 

Misato watched Asuka march into the kitchen and knew work was going to be... living hell. 

* * *

"Asuka, this is Shigeru." 

Asuka eyed him like he was an alien. 

"Give her something to do," Misato ordered, and then hurried away. 

"You were the one playing minesweeper the other day," Asuka accused. 

"Ah... er..." How had he been drafted into this? Shit. 

"So give me something to do, dummkopf. I don't want to stand around here all day." 

"Uh... you can...." Shigeru looked around to find the others studiously ignoring him. "I guess you... could... help Maya! She's doing... something. She'll be right back." 

Snorting with disgust, Asuka walked off. She was a bit surprised that no one said anything, none of the techs apparently caring whether she actually did anything or not. 

Well, if they didn't care, she'd just do what she felt like. Casting one look back at the lazing crew, she walked off down a hall, deeper into NERV, her footsteps echoing around her. 

Another set of echoing footfalls reached her ears, and for a moment, she considered heading back to the command center. She stopped herself though; she had as much right to be at NERV as anyone else did. 

Head held up high, eyes forward, back straight, she began striding in the direction the footsteps were coming from. 

Asuka turned a corner and almost skidded to a halt. Walking toward her was Commander Ikari with one hand stuffed casually in his pocket. He was alone, they were alone in the hall. 

Would he say something to her? Reprimand her? He almost had to for the way she had... shot her mouth off at him. Even if it had been fun. The situation was about to get unpleasant, Asuka figured. 

Closer, only five feet away. She expected him to stop and give her a disappointed look before chewing her out. 

Under the light, four feet away, there was only the glare and reflection coming off his glasses. Three feet away and the glare disappeared. Eyes visible, Asuka looked at them, expecting to find something. 

They gazed straight ahead, never noting her presence. 

Two feet, and his eyes were still visible, never taking note of her. For some irrational reason, Asuka wanted to block his path and make him notice her. And then she realized it. So subtle, and so effective. 

Her presence was unimportant to him, and that annoyed her, made her want to do something pointless, something against her calm and reserved character. 

The commander passed her by and continued on as if Asuka never even existed. She turned and watched him go as he rounded the corner. Then she smiled. 

* * *

Asuka made a choice that night. "I want to go back to school." 

Misato put her hand on her forehead and rubbed it. "What now, Asuka?" 

"Part-time. Be at NERV three days and school three days. So I can interact with people my own age, even if they are intellectually inferior." 

"I'm to the point where I don't care what you do, Asuka. I just need a beer." 

"Let me get you one, Misato," Asuka offered sweetly. "Shinji! Get Misato a beer!" 

* * *

The two idiots made comments, proving what she had suspected before: they were no longer afraid, they no longer respected her as their superior. Instead of yelling, she didn't even bother to look at them, and the puzzled expressions on their faces she glimpsed made her feel warm inside. 

They didn't know what to do. She had power over the,. That was the real reason for coming back to school. To hell with interacting with the idiots; she just needed to start small and work her way up. 

"Hey Shinji, what's up with Asuka?" Toji asked at lunch. 

Shinji shrugged, frowning. "She's been really pushy at home. She made me take out the trash even though it was her turn. It's really starting to bug me." 

Kensuke looked at Toji, and they shook their heads. "Shinji..." 

"Why do you put up with her like that, man? She's a grade-A bitch," Toji said. 

"She's not that bad. She's just... I don't know. She's just..." 

Toji and Kensuke nodded at each other. "A bitch," they said in unison. 

Shinji sighed. 

* * *

"You fixed it all by yourself?" 

Ritsuko laughed. "Of course not. The repair crews did, though I had to oversee them." 

Asuka nodded, feeling like a kid again. It was like the first time she had seen her Unit 02. This time though, she was actually going to get her hands on it, see what made it tick. "So what are you going to work on?" 

"Last time, you said your HUD was a little fuzzy; I was going to look at that first." Ritsuko smiled at Asuka, surprised at the girl's perky attitude. She wasn't as easy to work with when she was piloting. 

"Do you make all those changes on MAGI?" 

Ritsuko shook her head. "Think of it like a big TV. Sometimes the signal is bad, and you need to adjust the antenna, but sometimes the picture tube isn't working properly and needs to be fixed." 

"So MAGI is like the antenna, and my Eva is like the TV." 

"Exactly. We can look first to see if there are any problems with MAGI, and then Unit 02. If that turns up empty, I'll have to open it up." 

"Will I have to synch?" 

"Maybe later if there's nothing obvious, but I don't think it'll be anything serious." 

Asuka whistled as she carried the stack of papers. Maintenance records, test results, repair notes, Unit 02's activation logs... And they all had her name on it. Right under Dr. Akagi's. 

Pilot clearance wasn't high enough when the doctor had wanted to do some testing on the biological components of Unit 02. Even though Asuka had complained mightily, the doctor hadn't budged. Security clearance, even if it was concerning a pilot and her own Eva, was not something to be trifled with. 

For some reason, Asuka was beginning to like Dr. Akagi. Maybe it was from giving her actual work to do, but there was more as well. The papers for instance. She didn't really want to be a mail carrier, but this wasn't quite the same. They were to go to the commander, delivered personally, usually by Dr. Akagi herself. 

But the doctor had instructed Asuka on what to say, what the commander would probably ask, and what to answer in return. The doctor must have done it a lot to be so familiar with the commander. 

Asuka marched up to Commander Ikari's door, put on her most serious face and rapped sharply on it twice. She expected an almost immediate answer since that was the kind of man the commander seemed to be, but there was no such thing. 

Staring at the door, Asuka waited. She tapped her foot a bit impatiently. Maybe he wasn't there. Maybe he hadn't heard her knock. She lifted her hand, ready to knock again. 

"Enter," came the voice from the other side of the door. 

Asuka froze in amazement, an appreciative grin slowly spreading across her face. Recovering quickly, banishing the grin, Asuka opened the door and entered the office. 

When her eyes adjusted, she saw three stacks of paper already on the commander's desk, and his attention remained on them as Asuka crossed the dimly lit office. She stood across from him for a moment, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement, expecting it... until she remembered whom she was dealing with. 

It took all her willpower not to start grinning again. "The report of this morning's level one diagnostic of Unit 02, sir," Asuka said, and set the papers on his desk. 

It suddenly looked like a mess, and she got an intense urge to take the papers back so the desk would be tidy once more. 

"Where is Dr. Akagi?" he asked, not looking up from his work. 

A question she had expected. "Still running tests. My clearance was not high enough to assist her." 

"Pilot, hand over your access card." 

He was looking at her then, and even in the minimum of light, his glasses gave off a glare and made his eyes impossible to see. This question, asking for her access card, hadn't been expected at all. With her hand trembling ever so slightly, Asuka held out her card to him. 

When the commander reached out to take it from her, Asuka couldn't remove her eyes from that white-gloved hand. Surely he wouldn't... She was the Second Child; she was needed! "Sir," she said weakly, and hated herself for it. 

He took the card, almost gently, and turned to look at his console. No doubt he was deleting all of her records, and she'd soon find herself on the streets of Tokyo-3 with nowhere to go and.... 

"Clearance granted," Commander Ikari said and handed the card back. 

Asuka accepted it with numb fingers. 

"Inform the doctor that I would speak with her at her convenience. Dismissed." His attention was already back on the papers before him. 

"Yes... sir." Asuka left the office, access card still held loosely in her hand. 

Ritsuko looked back as she heard the door open. "Asuka, you--" 

"Commander Ikari increased my clearance level," she said, still a bit shell-shocked. "And he said he wanted to talk to you at your convenience." 

Ritsuko rolled her eyes a bit and nodded. "When I'm done here, I'll go see what he wants this time," she noted absently. 

That brought Asuka back to attention. The commander never did anything at anyone's convenience except his own, so why would he let Dr. Akagi get away with it? And she seemed so... casual about it, even a little dismissive. 

Whenever Misato had to talk to the commander, she was always a frazzled mess afterwards. Though it seemed she was usually being reprimanded for one thing or another... 

The doctor though, she was... cool. That was something Asuka could appreciate. Nothing at all like Misato, always getting drunk, yelling, acting like a child... That didn't accomplish anything. 

"What do you think the commander wants to talk to you about? Me?" Asuka asked. 

Ritsuko looked at her curiously. "Probably not. It's most likely about... the budget. Nothing to concern yourself with." 

Asuka nodded, but didn't really agree. She wanted to be a part of the entire process, and she sure didn't want her Eva to break down in the middle of a battle because they didn't have enough money to buy new batteries. 

She'd just have to be sure to be a fly on the wall for their meeting. That was all. 

"That's enough for today, Asuka. What'd you think of it all? Not nearly as interesting doing the dirty work, eh?" 

"I don't need to get the taste of LCL out of my mouth so it's not that bad, Doctor." 

"I have to admit," Ritsuko said, straightening up, "you were more helpful than I thought you'd be." 

Asuka gave her a confident smile. "I'm used to being underestimated." 

"Well, I need to meet with Commander Ikari now; you should be able to get a ride from Misato," the doctor said as they both left the lab, the door locking behind them. "I'll see you tomorrow for synch tests," she said, and walked away from Asuka. 

Asuka waited a moment until the doctor was out of sight. No doubt she was heading back to Commander Ikari's office. After counting to thirty, Asuka went that way too. 

"I can't." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm not at your beck and call. I have things to do." 

"They can wait." 

"You are not my number one priority." 

"I am aware of this. It does not please me." 

"Damn it, Gendo..." 

Asuka's eyes widened a little. So this was the secret. No wonder the doctor didn't want her around for it. 

"I have more work to get done," Ritsuko said tersely. 

Finding she had no place to hide, Asuka just flattened herself against the wall and hoped she wouldn't be caught when Dr. Akagi came out. 

The door never opened any wider than it already was though, and after a few heart-pounding seconds, Asuka relaxed fractionally. 

"You can't get your way every time," Ritsuko said softly, sounding out of breath. 

"Yes, I can." 

The door shut and Asuka almost collapsed. That had been too close for even her comfort. The next time the doctor wanted to speak to the commander in private, she would give them both a very wide berth. 

"I wonder what Shinji would say about this?" she mused aloud as she walked away. "Or Wondergirl..." 

There was something about the idea of Wondergirl, Miss Non-emotional, in Unit 00 very calmly stepping on the commander that made her laugh, though a bit guiltily. 

Asuka couldn't help thinking about what she had heard though. 

'You can't get your way every time.' 

'Yes, I can.' 

"Yes, I can," she breathed and continued to walk. 

* * *

"Asuka?" 

"Yes, Hikari?" 

"I liked the way you handled that idiot this morning. Thanks." 

Asuka flashed her a cocky grin. "No problem. I think Toji's finally learned not to mess with me." Or she had learned how to keep him easily in line. Maybe that was why NERV ran as well as it did with the bunch of clowns working there. 

Suddenly disgusted, Asuka couldn't help but think about those idiots as her only technical assistance if something ever went wrong with her Eva. 

"Just because he and that little worm Kensuke don't take class seriously doesn't mean other people don't want to." Hikari's hand clenched into a fist, a gesture not lost on Asuka. "Sometimes I'd like to take Toji and...." There were no words to express how she was feeling. 

Asuka just looked at her. 

That was enough to make Hikari turn away, a blush rising on her cheeks, fist no longer clenched. "Well, he's rude anyway. Boys are just immature." 

"Ah." That was interesting. All she did was look at Hikari and the class rep had practically spilled her guts. Maybe it was just in the other girl's nature, but still... 

Still looking embarrassed, Hikari took a step back. "That was all I wanted to say. Thanks, I mean." 

"Hey, want to eat lunch together?" Asuka asked suddenly, catching Hikari by surprise. 

"Uh... sure." 

"Shinji made lunch today. I hope he got it right this time." 

"Is Shinji a good cook?" 

"Pretty good. He needs some help, but he's getting better. He makes great streudel, just like back home. I could have him make you some." 

"Oh, would you? That sounds great." 

"Shinji'll do it if I say so." 

* * *

"So how did your meeting go?" 

"Meeting?" 

"With the commander." 

"Oh, it was fine. Your name never came up." 

'Thank God,' Asuka thought. "So, what's today's schedule?" 

"Synch tests. You can get a jump on Rei and Shinji." 

Asuka grimaced a little. "When will you do something about the taste of LCL? This stupid tests wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't floating in a big puddle of whale backwash." 

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "Backwash from a whale?" 

"You've never tasted it, have you? Ah well. I suppose that's the price I have to pay for saving the city." 

Ritsuko shook her head, smiling slightly. "Go get changed so we can start. Maybe you can help me with Shinji and Rei's synch tests later." 

Asuka suffered through the synch test as she had all the other times. She obeyed instructions automatically, lost in thoughts of her own. 

She had to be realistic. She couldn't get her way every time, no matter how hard she tried. Commander Ikari was so much more... prepared to get his way. He was older and had more experience, his rank alone was enough, and he was a complete cold-hearted bastard. 

That was the key concept. Since everyone thought he was capable of killing his own son, there were only a few select people that would question him. And if no one questioned him, no one would refuse him. He always got what he wanted... 

Asuka frowned. Everyone questioned her, as if she were still in grade school. Waiting twenty or thirty years was not an acceptable option. 

"You just dropped a couple points, Asuka. Is there something wrong?" Ritsuko asked over the com. 

"No, just... distracted," she answered, and then tried to relax. Still, it wasn't fair that no one trusted her, that everyone treated her like a child. Except for Dr. Akagi; she didn't as much as the others. 

Or Commander Ikari. 

An adult... That was what he expected her to act like. To him, she was an adult. When it suited him, otherwise she was non-existent. 

That got Asuka' thoughts running in a completely different direction while she performed her synch tests. 

------------------------------ 

End Part 1 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



	2. Part 2

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. 

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project 2

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

"Dr. Akagi, can I talk to you?" 

"Sure, Asuka. What is it?" Ritsuko had never seen the girl look so nervous before. This was very odd. 

"I know how much older you are than me, and I know you must have had... relationships with men." 

Trying to keep her composure, Ritsuko answered, "I suppose you could put it that way." 

"What do you do to get a man to... notice you?" 

Of course it would be a question like that. Nothing simple and clinical... Next thing Asuka would want to know would be what love was. "Well, it all depends on the man. Who is it that you're trying to get the attention of?" 

"Just... someone." 

Ritsuko nodded, figuring it was Kaji. That was an unhealthy infatuation, and Kaji didn't help it at all by acting like some high school Casanova. "Well..." she began, thinking over what she should say. "Depending on **how** old he is, I think maturity, and looks, of course, is the best way to get attention. Some men like intelligence, or an outgoing personality. Others like forward women... There's no right answer." 

Asuka nodded. The doctor wasn't being particularly helpful, but she couldn't deny the truth in the words she was being told. 

"I can't imagine someone not noticing you, Asuka. This... person must be an idiot." An accurate description of Kaji, if ever she had heard one. 

"No, he's not at all. He's just... busy, I guess." Asuka released a frustrated sigh and put her head in her hand. This was more difficult than she had planned. But why did she even care? To just observe her subject, it was better that he **didn't** notice her. 

But she refused to be ignored! She was a pilot, and they needed her. All of those times, with her life on the line, and all she ever got was criticism, if any reaction at all. She deserved the recognition. 

Heck, even Shinji and Wondergirl did. 

"I'm sure you'll think of something, Asuka. Just remember: all men are animals. You find their weakness and they won't be able to resist," Ritsuko continued. 

_I think the commander's found your weakness, doctor_, Asuka thought as she nodded. The advice was sound though. A weakness... That wouldn't be easy since there really wasn't anyone that would know. 

Except... maybe... 

"Yes, I'll manage. Everything would be so much easier if people would just do what I want," she said, not giving away anything at all what she was thinking. 

* * *

"Hey, Wondergirl!" 

Rei stopped and looked back at Asuka. 

"I need to talk to you," Asuka said as she caught up to her fellow pilot. 

Rei waited until Asuka was next to her then started walking again. 

"I wanted to ask you something about the commander." 

Rei only looked at her. 

"Does he--" 

"Why?" Rei stopped walking and stared at Asuka. 

"Because I wanted to know." 

"You should ask the commander." 

Asuka just sighed and shook her head. "Forget it, Wondergirl. I didn't think you'd be much help." Talking to Rei always gave her a headache, and that was the last thing she needed. 

Rei watched her walk off. How odd. 

* * *

Asuka sat with one elbow on the desk, head resting in her hand. She was staring off into space, wondering how Rei managed to be such a basket case. Asuka was sure she knew something, probably more than even Dr. Akagi, but getting answers out of either one of them would probably be impossible. 

Sighing, the command center slowly came back into focus, and she found her eyes directed right at Commander Ikari. Asuka blinked and sat up straight. How long had he been there? How long had she been staring? 

Swiveling around in her chair, Asuka tried to appear as if she was doing something. Even if playing minesweeper was overlooked, she didn't want the commander to think she was a slacker. 

"Pilot." 

Unreasonable dread filled her, though she turned back around to meet his gaze. "Yes, Sir," she answered firmly. 

"Where is Dr. Akagi?" 

Strange. He probably knew right where she was. The doctor had been courteous enough to leave her a message that she wouldn't be in, so why wouldn't the commander know? Answer: he did. 

So why was he asking her? "I believe she's sick today, Sir." Answer: to rattle her. 

He nodded at her, then stood and walked out of Asuka's view. 

That was weird. The more Asuka observed the commander, the more she felt she understood why Rei seemed closer to him than anyone else. 

With sudden determination, Asuka stood and marched out of the command center. She had had enough. 

This time, his back was to her as he walked down the corridor. "Sir!" 

Unlike Rei, he reacted. Gendo stopped walking and turned around. "What is it, pilot?" 

"Sir, you knew Dr. Akagi was out sick." 

"Of course." 

"Why did you ask me then?" Asuka would have her answers. 

"It is not your concern." 

Asuka frowned and barely stopped herself from raising her voice. That would prove fruitless against the commander. "I beg to differ, Sir. You ask me for the answer to a question you already know, and it's none of my concern?" She shook her head. 

"I pilot, and I follow orders, even when I know you don't care one way or the other about my survival, but here--" 

"Are you done?" 

Asuka blinked. "What?" 

"I asked you if you were finished, pilot." 

"I... guess so." 

"Good." Gendo turned away from her and resumed walking. 

Asuka snorted as she watched him. She did it again, this time with some amusement. Finally, she began to giggle. She had never been so insulted, and yet she couldn't bring herself to be angry in the least. 

* * *

He had planned on that confrontation. 

No matter how Asuka analyzed the situation, it always came back to the same conclusion: he was toying with her. 

Maybe this was his way of getting back at her for talking back to him on that first day. Or maybe he was testing her; this seemed to be what everyone else at NERV dealt with... Maybe he just didn't like her, and then the feeling would be mutual. 

* * *

"Dr. Akagi, can I ask you something?" 

As long as it wasn't about men. "Sure." 

"It's about the commander." 

It wasn't about men; it was worse. "What about him?" Ritsuko tried to sound curt, but figured she sounded nervous and evasive since that was just how she felt. 

"The other day, when you were sick, he asked me where you were, but I knew that he knew." 

Ritsuko nodded. "Sounds about right." 

"So then I asked him why he bothered if he already knew." 

Eyebrows climbing quickly up her forehead, Ritsuko said, "You asked him that?" 

"Yeah," Asuka answered simply. "I was pretty annoyed. But he said it wasn't my concern. Why?" 

"I think," Ritsuko answered slowly, choosing her words carefully, "that he enjoys keeping people off-balance. It makes them easier to... deal with." 

"Manipulate, you mean." 

"That too. It's best just to go along with it." 

"Maybe that's why he always gets his way." 

Ritsuko froze. "Maybe," she answered quietly, avoiding Asuka's gaze. 

"I don't get it. He goes out of his way to bug me, and then doesn't even say anything about it. He even gets mad when I react the way he wants me to. Maybe I should just go back to school. At least I know why the teachers are annoying." 

That made Ritsuko laugh. "My suggestion would be to just ignore it when you know he's trying to get something out of you," she said. "You'll be less confused that way." 

"Then why don't you?" Asuka asked, her voice suddenly quiet. 

"Why don't I what?" 

"Ignore it when he tries to get something from you." 

The smile fell from Ritsuko's face. "What--" 

"Let me ask you something personal... What do you get in return from him? I don't really get much for being a pilot, but you... you must get something in return." 

Ritsuko swallowed hard, narrowing her eyes at Asuka. "You... What did you...." Something sour rose up in her throat. "I think we're done here. You can leave now." 

Not waiting for Asuka to comply, Ritsuko stomped off in apparent consternation, leaving the girl alone. 

Asuka felt mysteriously... cold inside. Usually, she would feel some malicious glee, but not this time. 

Asuka left NERV, not informing anyone. This was something she just wanted to think about it on her own. 

* * *

School was pleasantly uncomplicated. Asuka sat with Hikari at lunch, each of them quietly eating. In fact, Asuka had been like that all day, being unnaturally withdrawn. She didn't appear melancholy though, just distant. 

Her phone ringing made them both stop eating. Hikari just looked at Asuka as the phone rang again. 

"Are you going to answer that?" 

Asuka shrugged. "I suppose." She pulled out the phone and switched it on. "She held it to her ear without saying anything. Sighing, she nodded, then put the phone back. "I have to go." 

"Oh. Bye," Hikari said as Asuka stood and walked away. Whatever Asuka's problem was, her mood was catching. 

She knocked, the two raps almost timid, and waited for the inevitable. No doubt this really was the end for her. No increase in her clearance this time, no games. 

"Enter." 

Asuka did so and stood in front of the desk. There were no papers to distract this time, no stunts, no excuses. She was determined though, and would not go through this meeting like she had done anything wrong. Taking a deep breath, she raised her eyes from the desktop and looked directly at Commander Ikari. 

He managed it somehow, controlled the light, adjusted his glasses just so... 

"Pilot," he said, looking at her with long-practiced disinterest. 

"Yes, Sir." That look.... She hated it, hated the way it made her feel. It was worse than being ignored; it made her feel less than human. 

If only he'd move a little so the light would reflect off the lenses and hide his eyes. Swallowing thickly, Asuka managed to speak. "Sir, if I could just explain--" 

"Denied." 

Asuka snapped her mouth shut, teeth clicking together loudly. She hated him, but couldn't help to admire how easily he handled people and situations, including her own. 

"Pilot, are you aware of the reason for giving NERV personnel clearance ratings?" 

"Yes, I--" 

"Then explain why you disregarded yours, whether under the supervision of Dr. Akagi or not." 

Blinking rapidly, feeling like she had missed something, Asuka tried to come up with some sort of coherent response. "I... didn't know..." 

"Excuses are unacceptable." 

"I know, Sir. I just didn't--" 

"Consider yourself warned. There will not be another warning." 

Asuka straightened up. "Yes, Sir." 

"Dismissed." 

Turning quickly in an effort to escape before he changed his mind, Asuka walked to the door. She thought she was free when she got her palm on the handle, ready to push it open. 

"And pilot." 

She stopped, but did not turn around. 

"If you undermine the integrity of my command by revealing any information you have, you will be arrested and jailed. No exceptions." 

And the axe had come down, though in a surprisingly gentle manner. "Yes, Sir." Without another wasted breath, Asuka exited the office. 

* * *

Staring up at the ceiling wasn't very interesting. No wonder she had never bothered to do it before. Asuka needed to contemplate though, and that seemed best served by looking at the darkened ceiling. 

So what happened? Dr. Akagi had told the commander what she had said, but he had done nothing other than warn her not to tell anyone else. What did that mean? If anything. 

But it meant something, because she could easily tell fifty other people before being put in jail. And that wouldn't stop those fifty people from telling another fifty people... Yes, he had threatened her, but... there was an element of trust there as well. 

You didn't let someone walk around with your secrets unless you trusted them, after all. Asuka frowned and let her eyes drift close. Did he really have so little regard for the doctor though? Did she? 

Asuka liked the doctor much more than she had when she first arrived at NERV, and that simply made things all the more confusing. 

Swearing to herself, Asuka tried to get some sleep. 

Kaji. Rakish, charming Kaji. More like a brother, though he was ruggedly handsome enough that Asuka would have liked him as something more. 

A pleasantly familiar dream where Kaji's hands moved up and down her back, dealing out the world's most perfect massage. With her hair pushed to one side, his breath came down on the back of her neck. The touch was featherish, tickling, gentle as she'd always imagined it would be. 

"Mm... Kaji..." 

The whispering voice. "Asuka...." No longer Kaji, but Shinji... 

She hadn't quite been able to figure that out yet. Why Shinji? What was it about him that made him invade her dreams? 

Oh, but Shinji's hands felt just as nice as Kaji's. If only she could get a massage half as good while she was awake. Sighing, Asuka melted under the practiced touch. 

"Go lower," she said, wiggling pleasantly against the silk bedding that caressed her skin, the strong hands kneading her shoulders expertly. 

"Request denied, pilot." 

Asuka sat up in bed, her body bathed in a cold sweat. She gulped air, clutching the blanket tightly. Her entire body was quivering. She could still feel... **his** hands on her. 

Kaji was fine. Shinji she could handle. But... the commander? She honestly hoped she had just mistakenly eaten some of Misato's cooking. 

She flopped back on her bed and pulled the covers over her head in an attempt to get back to sleep. 

* * *

"What happened to you? You look terrible." 

"Bad dreams," Asuka mumbled, her eyes still mostly closed. 

"Going to school today?" Misato asked, watching the girl wander around like a zombie. 

Asuka nodded, then headed back to her room. 

Bad dreams... Misato would have wagered it was more than that by the look of her young charge. 

Twin glares were directed at Toji and Kensuke. Shinji had been smart enough to keep totally out of it for once. 

"It was just a joke. Don't get yer panties in a twist," Toji stuttered, backing away. 

If anything, the glares became more severe. 

Kensuke couldn't take it any longer, and turned and ran. 

"I was joking... sorry," Toji apologized reluctantly. 

"You should be sorry, Toji Suzuhara! You have no right to say those types of things about..." 

Asuka tuned the rest out. Her head was already hurting, and she didn't need to listen to any more shouting and yelling. The thought came unbidden to her: what does the commander when he has a headache? 

The mental voice answered promptly. _He doesn't get headaches. He doesn't have to deal with things he doesn't want to. You could only wish to be so lucky._

"I only wish I could get lucky," Asuka mumbled, staring off into the distance. 

Hikari glanced at her, but hadn't really heard what her friend had said. The look on Asuka's face was enough to prompt her to leave well enough alone though. 

* * *

"Dr. Akagi?" 

Ritsuko glanced back. "What do you want, Asuka?" She was far from friendly. 

"I just wanted to apologize. I don't know what I was thinking." 

"Did he make you do this?" she asked icily, keeping her eyes on her work. 

"The commander?" 

"Yes, the **commander**." 

There was no mistaking the hostility in that reaction. "No, he didn't." 

"Fine. Apology accepted." 

Asuka waited for a moment, then asked, "Is there anything--" 

"No, you've done enough. I don't need your help any longer." 

Frowning, Asuka left without another word. 

"What the hell are you teaching those kids, Misato!?" 

Looking up at Ritsuko, Misato could confidently say she had never seen her so angry. "I haven't been teaching them anything," she answered defensively. 

"I noticed! Why don't you teach them some manners if you think you can handle it?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You let her go around saying things like that, especially here, if the commander heard her, well... You would have one less houseguest," Ritsuko hissed. 

Before Misato could finish trying to figure out just what Ritsuko was talking about, the blonde woman was gone. "What the hell's her problem?" 

"Probably something to do with an unfulfilling sex life." 

Misato acted reflexively, elbowing the person that had managed to sneak up behind her. "Can it, Kaji. This isn't a joke." 

* * *

Toji did his best not to cower under Asuka's verbal assault, but it was hard. Kensuke had already succumbed and fled. Suzuharas were made of sterner stuff though, and he wouldn't scare so easily. 

Really, he expected it from Asuka, thought not quite so... fervently. But Hikari, standing slightly behind and to the side of the raging demon, smiling, chilled him to the bone. 

"Bitch doesn't even **begin** to describe her." 

"You know she's going to yell at you; why do you do it?" 

"I dunno. She was never so... loud before. And it was always fun to see that look on Hik... the class rep's face." 

Kensuke immediately began snickering. "I think Toji's got a crush. What do you think, Shinji?" 

Toji scowled at him. "I do not! Shut up!" 

"I wonder what's wrong with Asuka," Shinji pondered, ignoring his two friends about to engage in mortal combat. 

* * *

This was certainly against her better judgment, but the knock to her pride was far worse. 

Asuka knocked on the now-familiar door. 

"Enter." 

She was getting used to the ritual, no longer intimidated by the dark, imposing office, and even becoming accustomed to his gaze. She only felt slightly sub-human when she was held in it. 

It was simply about adjusting her mindset. The way she thought and acted around other people, even the sub-commander, didn't work; this was something in a completely different realm. "Sir," she began, not expecting a prompt, "Dr. Akagi no longer needs my help." 

He made a sound. It might have been speculative or questioning or one of a hundred other things, but the commander did not speak to help Asuka in her analysis of it. 

"I'd like to be assigned something else." 

"Such as?" 

He managed to be unpredictable even in the most predictable situations. Asuka thought she had a pretty good comeback though. "Something appropriate for my level of education." 

He didn't move except to push his glasses up. "And your maturity?" 

Off-balance at every step. "I am mature enough to be able to handle any task," Asuka answered, allowing a little fire to escape. 

"That proved to be untrue with your last assignment." 

Asuka felt her face flush. "That wasn't.... I didn't--" 

"Report to Commander Fuyutsuki." 

"Yes, Sir." Off-balance at every step, and how easily he had pushed her aside. 

He was a genius. A bastard, but still a genius. 

"He told you what?" 

"To report to you." 

_Ikari, I'll get you for this. _Fuyutsuki sighed and looked around. They were still in the middle of the budget battle, and he had stacks of assorted paperwork to go through. He certainly didn't have time to babysit. 

"Well... I guess...." His eyes settled on a stack of papers. "Ah. You can take these papers back to him. All of them need to be signed." 

Asuka sighed. So it would come down to this. 

"If you can stand it for a few days, I'll see what else I can find for you." 

"You really don't need my help, do you? He just did this... because, right?" she asked, frustrated and a tad depressed. 

"He does seem to enjoy inconveniencing as many people at a time as he can. Here." Fuyutsuki handed over the stack of papers. 

"Yes, Sir...." Just about ready to go back to school after putting up with all the games, Asuka trudged away. 

The door again, but this time, her hands were full. Staring at it for a moment, Asuka just kicked it twice. As long as her request got through... 

"Enter." 

"Yeah, thanks," she muttered, fumbling to get the door open without dropping the papers all over. "Doing just fine, Commander. Don't need any help out here." 

Finally, with a grunt, she managed to get the door open, and stumbled inside. Panting, Asuka deposited the papers unceremoniously on the desk. "These are from Commander Fuyutsuki. He said they **all** need your signature." 

"Dismissed." 

Asuka's mouth twitched in a small grin. He apparently wasn't so happy with that. 

"Pilot," he said as she turned, "don't get ahead of yourself. You are still only a child." 

"A child that's graduated college." 

"Only a child." 

There was a moment of silence that could have been categorized as hostile. 

"And, pilot, inform Fuyutsuki he is in command until I return from my meeting." 

Asuka nodded sharply, instantly taking things more seriously. "Yes, Sir." 

Once outside the office, Asuka got a small thoughtful smile on her face. Bastard, sure, but... she could handle him, no problem. 

------------------------------ 

End part 2 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



	3. Part 3

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. 

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project 3

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

"Commander, can I ask you about the commander?" 

"Ikari? I suppose." The sub-commander was buried in gobs of paperwork while Asuka sat in his office and watched, occasionally handing him papers. 

"Why is he... the way he is?" 

"Why is anyone the way they are? The events of our lives shape us." 

"Yeah, I know about Jensen and his sixty/forty theory, but... something really bad must have happened. Look at what happened to me, and I'm fine." 

Fuyutsuki stopped writing and looked up at Asuka, one eyebrow arched. He would have disagreed, but it simply wouldn't make any difference. "No, they're not... pleasant memories at all," he said, returning to his work. 

Asuka shrugged. "I really think he needs to lighten up." 

"He's never been light. Happy, yes. Light, certainly not." 

"Really? Happy? I didn't think that was possible." 

Fuyutsuki chuckled. "You'd be surprised. And this isn't exactly a time to be going on picnics in the park." 

"I suppose." She placed another stack of papers in front of him. "Still, wouldn't it work better if he, you know, got along with people?" 

"To some extent. His particular... technique is more useful for dealing with people outside of NERV. We basically rely on NERV personnel to share a similar vision, or at least be loyal and dedicated." 

Asuka smirked. "It's definitely not the money. I've heard Misato complain enough about that." 

"Yes, and you can thank the UN for that. They don't seem to care about keeping NERV operational to pull their hides out of the fire." 

"Dummkopfs." 

That made Fuyutsuki chuckle in the midst of the paperwork. 

"So how was your day, Asuka?" Misato asked as they got into the car. 

"Pretty good. Commander Fuyutsuki was nice." 

Misato blinked. "I thought you were helping out Ritsuko." 

"Yeah, but... she didn't need my help." 

"So how did you end up with Commander Fuyutsuki?" 

"Commander Ikari told me to report to him." 

There was a chain of events that Misato didn't even want to try to figure out. "Right. So what you think of NERV behind the scenes?" 

"I think it's a huge mess. I suppose it's not something you can do anything about, but I'm surprised anyone thinks NERV will save the city," Asuka explained as she looked out the car window. 

"Thanks for your ringing endorsement. We do try, you know." 

"Hmm... What do you think of Commander Ikari?" 

Misato chuckled. "Still got a grudge against him? You'll never get anywhere with it. Half the free world has a grudge against that man, and he's never so much as been hit with a pie in public." 

"But what do you **think** about him?" 

"I think he's a cold-hearted monster for the most part, but what better way to fight monsters than have one of your own?" Misato shrugged. "A necessary evil, I suppose." 

"Do you really think he needs to act like that?" 

For a few moments, Misato remained silent, and when she spoke, it was thoughtful. "Sometimes, I think he has no heart at all, that he's a machine, and the only compassion he knows is the dictionary entry, but then..." She shrugged somewhat helplessly. "I try to imagine what things would be like if someone like Commander Fuyutsuki were in charge. I can't see it; I can't see NERV, Tokyo-3, Japan surviving as long as they already have." 

Asuka nodded. "Do you respect him?" 

Misato laughed. "I've never been asked that one before." 

"Do you?" 

"I dunno. I know I probably should, but... I can't. I can't respect someone who does so many things I disagree with... even if I know they have to be done." 

There was respect, if only for his rank, and very grudging, but it was respect all the same. It was probably similar to the way Asuka herself felt. 

Commander Ikari was simply impossible to like. Mostly. 

Asuka stared at her bed and gave it a dirty look before lying down in it. She had developed this routine of letting the bed, blankets, pillows, and sheets know how much she hated them, and that seemed to keep the dreams away. 

Stifling a single yawn, Asuka curled up and went to sleep. 

* * *

Unhealthy curiosity. That's what it was. All the same, she couldn't stop. Obsession... Even if she wanted to stop, she couldn't stop until she knew everything. All the secrets, all the little things... What made her own Unit 02 tick was nothing compared to this. 

What made Commander Ikari tick? What made him an apparent atomic bomb ready to go off at any time? And was Shinji really his son? 

Asuka was fairly sure he was. After all, who else would put up with him besides his father? 

"Something on your mind?" 

Blinking, she turned away from the window and looked at Commander Fuyutsuki. "Just thinking about Shinji and the commander. I'd never know they were related if I didn't... er... know, I suppose." 

Kozo laughed. "They aren't very similar, are they? He's not much like Yui either, though sometimes I see it. Not often though." 

"More for the commander?" Asuka asked, eyeing the pile of papers Fuyutsuki had just added to. 

"Compliments of the UN." 

Asuka almost whistled on her way to the commander's office. At least by working at NERV she didn't have to listen to teachers drone on endlessly about things they didn't really know about. 

And Commander Fuyutsuki seemed to be a pretty good source of information. Even though delivering papers wasn't very mentally stimulating or challenging, it was preferable to sitting in a desk at school all day. 

The idea was funny and frightening at the same time. Having to deal with the commander each day was not enough to deter her escape- avoidance behavior. The **truly** scary thing was that... she couldn't be sure if it was a negative or positive reinforcer... or maybe, possibly... probably both. 

There went mistake number one. The professors had always warned that students should never try to analyze themselves. Yet, she was acting just like a freshman again. The results, invariably, ended up being the worst of everything about herself. 

Commander's door. Time to stop analyzing herself, lest he think she'd totally flipped her wig... which might very well have been true. No need to advertise it though; the ritual didn't allow for such distractions. 

Asuka knocked, and entered after he granted permission. "Commander," she greeted almost lightly, setting the papers on his desk. 

"Pilot," he answered. 

She froze. He hadn't done that before. The only words she was used to hearing from him were "enter" and "dismissed," and sometimes she didn't even get "dismissed." 

How long she stood immobile with a puzzled look on her face was undetermined. She kept expecting him to make some request of her, ask her another question that he knew the answer to... 

He looked up at her. "Is there something else?" 

"Uh..." The glare was gone, and Asuka could see how much the commander's and Shinji's eyes were alike, even though they were different colors. Shinji's didn't seem to swirl with... darkness, as much pain, and... the yearning. For what though? "Nothing, Sir." 

"Then you're dismissed." He lowered his gaze to the papers and began to look through them. 

With the befuddled look still on her face, Asuka turned and left. 

"What is NERV really trying to do?" 

For the time it took Asuka's heart to beat twice, she watched Commander Fuyutsuki's pen stop. Then it began scribbling away again. "To protect the world from angel attacks." 

"Why does Commander Ikari have that look in his eyes then?" 

"What look?" 

Asuka shrugged. "It reminded me of Shinji sometimes. I don't really know what it is." 

Aloud, he said, for her benefit, "The pressure on all of us is very intense." 

Nodding in response, Asuka could tell it wasn't something he wanted to talk about. "So is the UN going to fire us all?" 

"Not yet. They can't cut as deep as they'd like to without justification, and simply being cheap is not. I think the destruction of Tokyo-3 would be bad press for them as well." 

"I considered teaching when I started college. If this is where it leads, I'm glad I didn't bother. Paperwork is the most useless thing in the entire world." 

Fuyutsuki dropped the pen and leaned back in his chair. "It's good for one thing: hand cramps." 

"Should I take these to the commander?" Asuka asked, eyeing the papers that had just been finished. 

"You don't have to. They'll still be here tomorrow." 

"I don't mind. It's only a few more signatures for Commander Ikari." 

Fuyutsuki only sighed and shook his head. 

She performed the ritual for what felt like the hundredth time that week. It wasn't tiring yet; the commander seemed to enjoy catching her off guard every so often, keeping protocol fresh. 

That also probably meant he wasn't bothered the way she had hoped. 

"Enter." 

Lips pursed in a half-whistle, Asuka opened the door. She resisted blinking in an effort to get her eyes adjusted to the gloom. If he could sit in there with his tinted glasses and not have any trouble, then she could manage. "More, Sir." 

"Pilot, do yourself a favor." He didn't look up from his papers. 

"Sir?" 

"Stop. You won't accomplish anything." 

Asuka swallowed involuntarily, prompting the commander to raise his head. She actually took a step back when she realized he wasn't wearing his glasses. 

"I remind you again that you are a child. You have no idea what you are doing when you play these games." 

Finding her voice, Asuka braved an innocent response. "I don't--" 

"Playing innocent is the final resort of a desperate individual. A guilty individual." 

When he spoke, the feelings that welled up in Asuka were actually the opposite of what she would have expected. She felt even more bold, not intimidated. "And I'm sure you've never played innocent, Sir." 

"You tread a dangerous path." 

"Sir, are you threatening me?" Those were words she wanted to take back as soon as she spoke them, but it was too late for that. 

Corner of his mouth twitching into a look of near-amusement, he shook his head. "I have no need to threaten you, pilot." 

"Why are you such a bastard?" Asuka snapped, no longer fearing what he might say or do to her. 

"It accomplishes what needs to be done. The success of the Project is the only thing of importance." 

Cold and harsh, like a blade. That was his voice, his answer. People didn't matter. Not the personnel of NERV, not the pilots, not Dr. Akagi... "What about Shinji?" 

"Dismissed, pilot," he answered curtly. 

With a frown seated prominently on her face, Asuka simply shook her head. 

"Pilot, you are dismissed," he repeated, sounding annoyed. 

"I don't know why you hate him. He does everything to try and get you to care." With that finally said, though she wasn't sure why she had said it, Asuka left the office. 

When she was out in the hall, the frown faded and the exhilaration of what she had just done hit her. Trembling slightly, trying her best to not go charging down the hall and make as much noise as she could, Asuka just leaned against the wall and took deep breaths. 

What got Misato so rattled she'd never know. That had been the most heart-pounding experience of her life right after piloting. She had actually given Commander Ikari a piece of her mind, even if it had only been about Shinji. 

And what had the commander done? Nothing! She had won! 

Asuka Langely Sohryu had beaten Commander Ikari at his own game! It was a proud day indeed. 

"What are you smiling about?" 

Looking up at the curious face of Misato, Asuka felt her smile grow. "I have to tell you something," she said and grabbed her guardian's arm to pull her down the hall. 

* * *

Kozo Fuyutsuki had the beginnings of a headache. "You're giving me a headache." 

"She has overstepped her bounds yet again. She will return to school immediately," Gendo said, sounding vaguely annoyed. 

"She must have pushed all your buttons to get you this worked up. That girl is either fearless or brainless." 

"Are you finding this amusing?" 

Oh yeah, he was not happy at all. "In a way, yes. You're taking this far too seriously." 

"She is the one taking things far too lightly, playing games as if this were a carnival. She isn't aware of how important--" 

"What did she say? Something about Yui? Or was it Rei? Possibly Shinji..." 

"Old man..." 

"Don't call me an old man just because I'm right. You're angry because she hurt you and you have no way to deal with it. I know you, Ikari, better than you might think, and certainly better than I'd like to." 

Snorting in what might have been disgust, Gendo stood, walked past his second-in-command and left the office. 

The metal was strangely warm to his touch. Almost alive, but not. It never would be really. If she decided to strike against him then, he wouldn't be able to move fast enough; she would have what she wanted. 

The words were always inadequate; they couldn't change things. It was only him, and her, and the thrumming of NERV around them. 

This was the only time he had the courage to say the things that no one else would understand. Even then it was cowardly, as she gave no response, no reaction. "I don't hate him," he said quietly. 

One gloved hand clenched into a fist, but that was the only evidence of emotion. "The children..." The word could have almost been mistaken for a curse. "None of them realize what is at stake. The Second perceives this as a game, and there isn't any way..." 

The fist clenched tighter for a moment, then relaxed and hung limply at his side. "Broken homes... The one thing in our lives that we all share." 

* * *

"Shinji." 

He actually flinched. "What do you want this time?" Shinji asked, more sharply than he had meant. 

Expecting the worst, he was surprised when Asuka plopped down on the couch next to him. 

"Why is your father such a..." She paused with the word "jerk" on her lips. "A bastard?" 

Shinji's spine immediately stiffened. He heard a lot of things come out of Asuka's mouth, but never anything like that. "What... what do you mean?" 

Asuka snorted. "You know what I mean, dummkopf. Come on, you have to know something. It's like torture being at NERV all day long." 

"I don't know! It's not like he treats me any better than anyone else. He probably treats me worse." 

Crossing her arms, Asuka directed her practiced scowl at the TV. Shinji wouldn't, **couldn't** lie. If he was holding something back, she would know. "Maybe," she said slowly, her scowl fading, "you're too big of a wimp for him to respect." 

Shinji's face turned bright red. "Hey! It's got nothing to do with that! Besides, that doesn't explain why he doesn't like you." 

Asuka grinned, trying her best to keep Shinji from seeing her amusement. She was supposed to be annoyed about the whole thing; if she laughed, it probably would dissolve Shinji's burgeoning spine on the spot. 

"You're just too bossy." 

The grin disappeared from her face to be replaced by a dangerous glare. "What?" 

Again, he flinched away. "Er..." Shinji started to rise from the couch. "Nothing!" He sprang to his feet and retreated to his room before any violence could be directed at him. 

Asuka just shook her head. A spine, but still no brains. 

* * *

The mood of the classroom was decidedly... rigid. Military-like. Everyone sat quietly in their seats, backs straight, eyes forward, all attention on the teacher even though they had heard the lecture countless times before. 

Hikari sat at her desk, hands folded in front of her, looking like the perfect little angel, ready to rain holy hell down on anyone who dared disturb it. 

Toji, sporting a swollen lip and angry red cheeks, thought she resembled more of a devil. 

Asuka sat with her head in her hand. Her eyes were staring at the front of the classroom, but were looking somewhere very far away. 

She was hoping to avoid another dream, but it seemed to have burned itself into her subconscious. It was getting more and more common, and... and with possibilities she wasn't going to dwell on. It had become impossible to get a week's worth of undisturbed sleep. 

Those nights when she woke up sweating and trembling, the thought invariably flitted through her mind to just stop the game... Then her rational mind would reassert itself, and there was no way she was going to give in. 

Sitting in class though, eyes threatening to close, vague images from the dream intruding on her, making her heart beat just a little faster, the idea of giving in swirled through her mind again, and she wasn't so quick to push it away. 

* * *

"You've been reassigned again." 

Asuka sighed. She was too tired to get annoyed. "Where is it this time?" 

Fuyutsuki shrugged before answering, "Talk to Commander Ikari." 

"You want to play games?" 

"No, Sir." She should have felt safe in that relative darkness, but Asuka felt like she was completely vulnerable, laid bare with everything out in the open. It was the most uncomfortable sensation, but she resisted fidgeting. 

"I've... tolerated your behavior this long only because Fuyutsuki continues to claim you are childishly innocent." 

His head tilted just a fraction of a centimeter to the right, and Asuka knew that this was his way of letting her know he didn't agree with the sub-commander. 

And the words stung her, causing her pride to flare to life. "Maybe if you--" 

"Enough. If you wish to leave, I won't stop you." 

Face burning with anger and embarrassment, Asuka knew what he meant. If she left, he would consider that a positive thing. Well, she wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. "No, Sir. I'm not going to quit." 

"Very well. I expect your behavior to improve." 

Something about that made her nervous. If he expected her behavior to improve, then... "It will, Sir. So where am I being reassigned to?" 

Dread. Slow, creeping dread. It made its way up from her feet, over her knees, feeling like a cold draft. _Tell me! Say it! I already know!_ she screamed inside. 

"You know as well as I do." 

"Yes, I guess I do, but I don't understand." Asuka stared at the supreme commander of NERV and wondered... 

"The only thing required of you is that you pilot. You don't need to understand." 

Asuka snorted. "Right about now, I'm trying to understand why anyone put you in charge. You're not helping the attitude of anyone who works here." 

"It is not my job to be the cheerleader of NERV. We have people like Major Katsuragi for that." 

The hiss of Asuka sucking air through her teeth was the only sound in the suddenly quiet office. For some reason, that statement infuriated her when it shouldn't have. "Misato does a good job." 

"Does she?" 

Was he looking for her to vouch for Misato, or was he just questioning her? **Did** Misato do a good job? "We're alive. She does a good job, no thanks to you, Sir." 

He looked at her for a moment, giving nothing away. "Take this to Dr. Akagi," he said abruptly and slid an immaculately folded piece of paper across the desk toward her. 

Asuka's eyes flicked down to it, then back at the commander, but he was already back at his work. Was this another test? Shrugging, she snatched the paper from the desk and turned to leave, expecting to be stopped at any moment. 

Whatever test he had been giving her, if there had actually been one, she passed and was allowed to leave the office without further discussion or instructions with the paper clutched tightly between her thumb and forefinger. For Dr. Akagi... Asuka looked at the paper as she walked and pondered. 

Idly, she rubbed the two halves of the paper together, wondering what the situation was really all about. Everything she was instructed to do, each encounter with Commander Ikari was a careful... exploration of her will, her mettle, her... 

It was like a doctor's exam, but not physical. It just... 

Tonight. Eleven.

Two simple words and Asuka's eyes were about to bulge from their sockets. She was looking at the unfolded paper, reading it. Swearing to herself, she refolded it and held it purposely at her side. 

There had been no urge to read it in her, and she sure didn't need to know about any personal plans. Asuka's pace picked up as she headed for the lab. Best just to drop it off and be done with it. Out of sight, out of mind. 

The situation nagged her though. A note? For wanting to keep the whole thing quiet, having someone curry a note seemed very, very stupid. 

"He expected me to read this," Asuka whispered. "He purposely gave me this note and knew I would look at it." Scowling, she shook her head. Another damned setup. "Who's the one playing games, Commander?" she said, her voice echoing down the corridor. 

"The commander wants to see you tonight." 

Ritsuko straightened up and faced the speaker slowly. "What?" she asked, her eyes narrowed. 

"He wants to see you tonight," Asuka answered casually, leaning against the wall. "Eleven." The note was held in her fingers, up where it could be easily seen. "I hope you don't mind that I took a peek. After all, I already know; it's not a secret." 

"You little..." Ritsuko growled and snatched the paper from her. 

"I'm just doing what the commander told me to. Don't shoot the messenger. I'm sure you'll get plenty of that later anyway." She left quickly, before an adequate reply could be formed in the doctor's mind. 

Without attempting to suppress her grin, Asuka said, "She's very emotional." 

"Who?" 

"Dr. Akagi. She didn't seem very happy to get your message." She was still grinning and it didn't feel like it was going to go away any time soon. 

"Perhaps it was your method of delivery." 

Asuka blinked. How did he... No, he set it all up. He practically knew how everything was going to go before it happened. "Well, maybe." 

"I will hear about this later." He finally managed to spare Asuka some attention and glanced at her. "She will request your removal. Again." 

"She took the bait so perfectly! It's not my problem she overreacted!" Asuka protested. "It's your fault for setting me up with that note!" 

"Is it?" 

"Yeah!" 

"I did not force you to read it." 

Asuka was getting better; she wasn't caught off-guard. "You still set me up, using just a folded piece of paper like that. You knew, and even if you didn't, you hoped I would read it anyway. Why?" 

His shoulder twitched in the barest shrugged, and he no longer found her of any interest. 

"Who's playing games now?" 

"I told you nothing would be accomplished. It distracts from what needs to be done. I've already informed you of this." 

"Yeah, yeah." Asuka found herself getting into it. Even though he was giving her the same attention he might give an annoying fly, it almost felt like she was having an actual conversation with him. Nobody did that. 

Except maybe Commander Fuyutsuki. And probably Dr. Akagi... Asuka couldn't help but smirk. If they even bothered with conversation. "Sir, if you don't need anything else, no more games or anything, I'd like to head home." 

That got his attention for a single moment, and Asuka could see her faintly grinning face reflected in his glasses. 

"Request granted, pilot." 

There was suddenly a very large lump in her throat. "Th... thank you, Sir," she said in a shaky voice and quickly left. Out in the hall, Asuka had to lean against the wall in an effort to compose herself without collapsing. 

He just had to say that, didn't he? Had to say something so similar to the dream, but there was no way he could have known that. No way. No. Way. 

------------------------------ 

End Part 3 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



	4. Part 4

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project 4

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

Asuka's choice of nighttime clothing had grown more conservative to the point that she was in red flannel pajamas. If there was anything more conservative, she hadn't found it in her size. 

Thinking serene thoughts--boring, unexciting thoughts--Asuka settled into bed, nestled under the blankets, and tried to get some decent sleep. 

"Stupid Shinji.... Stupid father..." she mumbled. "Stupid NERV...." With a final annoyed sigh, Asuka relaxed and slipped into sleep. 

She moaned in her sleep, her face carrying a frown. 

This dream was.... The routine was familiar, but subtly different. In the changing room, behind a sheet hung up to hide her form from prying eyes, Asuka began to remove her school uniform. 

It was totally silent except for the sound of a single drip coming from the showers, which was quite unnerving. Why wasn't anyone else there? Even Wondergirl was better than complete silence. 

The sound of the door was almost furtive, as if someone didn't want their presence to be known. Asuka, with her clothes half-removed, stopped and listened. It could have been Wondergirl or Shinji.... 

While the opening and closing of the door had been quiet, the footfalls that followed were not at all. They were not the footsteps of a fellow pilot. "Is... something wrong?" she asked, wincing at how loud her voice sounded, echoing in the emptiness of the room. 

The person gave no answer other than their echoing footsteps. 

Asuka waited to see if the identity of the visitor would be revealed. The fact that she was so vulnerable was foremost in her mind, which **should** have been silly since she was in the heart of NERV, but.... 

The silhouette that presented itself through the screen made her breath catch. The heart of NERV.... She should have expected it. "Is there something wrong?" she asked and hated the quaver in her voice. 

He still didn't speak, just stood there and watched... her. 

Shivering in the cool air of the changing room, Asuka began to put her clothes back on. 

"Pilot Langley, report for synchronization test. Pilot Langley." 

With a baleful stare, Asuka looked up at the little speaker the voice had just come from. It appeared there would be no getting out of it. 

She turned her back to the sheet and began to undress. Really, she should have just left, but she didn't _not want to give him a show_ get in trouble. Dr. Akagi was a real _slut_ stickler for schedules. 

Asuka had to admit to herself as her uniform dropped to the floor in an untidy heap that she was pretty much _desperate for his attention_ a schedule person too. 

Not that she had a choice. Her entire life so far revolved around _him_ schedules and _she was desperate_ sticking to them. It was just _consuming her life, every waking and sleeping moment_ a necessary evil. 

She was naked then, and her plug suit two feet away seemed such a hassle to put on. "Why are you watching me?" she asked aloud, staring at the red suit. "What is it about you?" 

You need authority in your life. You need someone strong to control you. You get away with too much.

"I don't need authority," she grumbled. "Misato's enough, always telling me what to do...." 

You have to pilot to **my** standards, not yours. You have to do what I say without question. You have to obey my rules. You pilot... for me.

Asuka found her head automatically nodding. "Yes, Sir." Sighing like a tired old woman, she reached for the sheet and yanked it aside. 

"Bastard!" 

She was gasping for air, her entire body soaked with sweat. "Damn it!" One night. That was all she asked for, and apparently that was just too much. 

"Leave me alone so I can get some sleep!" Frustrated nearly to tears by her inability to sleep, Asuka flopped back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

Every day. She would have to deal with him every day, which wouldn't bother her at all... except for the dreams. The dreams that wouldn't go away. The dreams that demanded her attention every single night. The dreams that were getting worse. 

But... not worse in a bad way, and that was what bothered her most of all. It wasn't possible, just couldn't be, she wouldn't believe it that she was.... That she found anything appealing about Shinji's father. 

God, she couldn't even refer to him normally, since that seemed to raise odd thoughts in her head and cause stirrings in her stomach. 

"What do I do?" she moaned quietly before she fell into a much troubled sleep. 

* * *

"Pilot." 

Asuka didn't bother wasting energy on answering him. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, and she had no hope of competing with him that day. Even though she felt like screaming at him, there just wasn't any point. 

"You are unfit to perform your duties." 

She mumbled something and stared at the floor in front of her. 

"Repeat yourself." 

"I said go to hell." Maybe that hadn't been the smartest thing to do, but the words had been spoken. What could he do to her anyway? 

"Come here, pilot." 

Her legs, weakened by exhaustion, carried her forward, and nothing seemed better than to just lie down right on that huge desk for a nap. 

"No, come **here**." 

Her legs carried her around the desk to stand right next to his chair. This was strange that he would want her so close, but.... 

He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. With a quick jerk, she found herself bent over his lap, his knees pressing almost painfully into her ribs and stomach. "This is your punishment for that outburst." 

Before Asuka could consider what he was going to do, she felt the sharp swat on her backside. It wasn't quite enough to hurt, but it was certainly enough to get her attention. Yet, even as the next blow fell, and the next, and the pain mounted, she remained silent. 

She would not whine, she would not cry. Not for him. She hadn't done it for her mother, and she certainly would not for her bastard commander. Not for anybody, not even herself. 

The punishment stopped abruptly then, and that was when, to her shame and embarrassment, she could feel that indeed she was crying. The tears were still dripping silently from her eyes. 

But this was not another bitter night in Germany, alone and abandoned. Strong arms lifted her upright and cradled her gently. Her head fell limply against the chest of her commander. 

As the moments passed, marked only by the steady beating of his heart, Asuka opened eyes she hadn't even realized were shut. She could see his hand resting on her arm. 

He had used his bare hands to deliver the punishment, and then to comfort her. For some reason, that meant more than she could fathom, and Asuka closed her eyes again, feeling safe. 

Consciousness returned to her slowly. Though it wasn't so much that as it was... wakefulness. Asuka's eyes snapped open at that realization. Finally she had gotten some uninterrupted sleep. 

But had things really happened the way she... remembered them? Had she really fallen asleep in his arms? Just the simple memory, real or imagined, made her feel... warm. That, and the safety she remembered, was something she hadn't felt in a very long time. 

"It's good to see you awake," a nurse said as she entered the room. 

That caused Asuka to sit up and take stock of her situation. She was still dressed in the clothes she had put on that morning, and she was on one of the infirmary beds. "What happened?" she asked, trying to sound completely calm and in control. Had he carried her there? Had anyone seen? 

"We received a request from Commander Ikari earlier today to go to his office. You had collapsed. We brought you here and ran some cursory tests. You were simply exhausted." 

Asuka nodded absently. How much had been a dream and how much real? How many of her memories could she count on? 

"You can go any time you'd like. Just get some sleep." 

If she were to lean her head against his chest, would his heart sound the same? Would his arms around her feel the same? Would his hands look like that? 

Asuka's stomach twisted. A dream. It was a dream. Just a dream, and it would be best to forget about it. Forget that feeling of security and just continue on with life. 

"It's better this way," she told herself quietly, wanting desperately to believe it. "It's... not right. I need to...." 

_Yes, I can._ The words came back to her. 

Could she really have everything she wanted? 

"Yes, I can." 

* * *

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Sir." She wasn't sarcastic or simpering. Her voice was steady and even, just like her gaze. 

"I have a meeting to attend. You are dismissed for the day," he told her as he stood and walked toward the door. 

"Are you sure you don't need--" 

"That is all, pilot." 

Either Asuka was getting better or Commander Ikari was less annoyed. That hadn't been a reprimand or condescending. She wasn't quite sure how to respond to it. 

"Thank you, Sir," she managed and quickly exited before him. She could feel him following behind her and unconsciously quickened her pace. At any moment, he could put his hand on her shoulder and pull her back. 

All she had to do was shuffle to the right and he would plow right into her. Trying to get herself under control, Asuka felt him brush past, the bottom of his jacket delicately caressing her hand like an invitation. 

By the time her little fantasy had run its course, he was far beyond her, walking away without a glance back. One day, she vowed to earn that glance. 

* * *

Sitting in bed, Asuka wondered if maybe it was time to stop fighting. Maybe that was her only way to get some peaceful sleep. Just... accept the dreams, embarrassing as they were. After all, they were far from being nightmares; they were just... uncomfortable. 

With a beleaguered sigh, she laid back, pulling the covers up to her chin, and closed her eyes. So what if she had a raunchy dream? What was wrong with that? 

Not a thing. And if she told herself that enough times, she might actually believe it. There wasn't a thing wrong with that kind of dream anyway. 

That kind of dream about the commander though.... Still nothing wrong; it was just... odd. And it really wasn't worth fighting any longer. Not at all. 

She had crumpled, and he had stared. Not a muscle had moved in effort to help her. It didn't matter; he would have reacted the same under any circumstance. Just because she was the Second Child didn't mean she deserved special treatment from him. 

No one received special treatment. That would be perceived as a weakness. If NERV personnel were continuously having their hands held, if they couldn't deal with a little adversity, they weren't wanted. 

In fact, more than one person had been dismissed for that very thing: failing to meet his expectations. He'd done it personally and gotten great satisfaction from it. 

But when it came to important personnel, there was no room for any worrying or emotional outbursts to cloud his judgment. There was still so much to be done, so far to go.... 

There was a soft knock on the door, interrupting his thoughts. "Enter, pilot." 

The door opened, and his eyes followed the Second Child as she crossed the empty space to stand in front of his desk. Even though they were looking at each other, his glasses acted as a barrier between them. It was easiest to keep people at a distance that way. 

Asuka looked at him, trying to see past the tinted lenses How much did he know? Maybe she had said something while she was unconscious. Maybe he knew about the dreams. Maybe he could see it in her eyes. 

She lowered her gaze so he couldn't look directly into her eyes. "Just wondering if there's anything you...." She swallowed and felt ridiculous when the noise practically echoed throughout the office. Asuka licked her lips in an attempt to banish some of the dryness that possessed her mouth as she continued, "Anything you need...." 

Gendo stared. He was caught utterly speechless. What did she think she was doing? It had to be his imagination. "Pilot," he said sternly, more to cover up his confusion than anything, "I have no use for you today. You are dismissed." 

Anything to get her out of there. 

"I really am sorry, Sir," Asuka said quietly, ignoring his words. "I didn't mean to pass out like that. I was just so tired...." 

This didn't sound like the Second Child at all. And she didn't sound apologetic either. Again, it must have been tricks on his hearing. 

"You... understand, don't you? I'm not in any trouble--" 

"You are dismissed, pilot. Leave now," he ordered, knowing it was the only way to effectively get rid of her. Whatever she was doing was.... It was like she was.... 

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Sir," Asuka said, then backed away from his desk. 

There was something oddly familiar about the whole thing, but he couldn't be sure what. The tone of her voice, her choice of words, her body language.... What was wrong with him? Perhaps it was time for another checkup. 

"I dreamt about you." 

Gendo's eyes snapped on Asuka. Had she just.... Did she really.... Why was this bothering him so much? What the hell was going on? 

Before he had a chance to say anything else to her, she was gone. For the first time he could ever remember, Gendo felt like he had been toyed with. She had gotten the better of him, and he hadn't done a thing. 

She had seen his face. She hadn't seen his eyes, of course, but she had seen his face. The reaction there, however minor, was one to savor. 

It was true. She really could have whatever she wanted. Asuka finally believed it. Something delicious wriggled in her, and she knew she could have that dream made reality. The dream she had finally surrendered to.... 

With a grin, Asuka hurried down the hallway. 

* * *

"Everything's normal." 

Gendo nodded, never giving away whether was pleased or not, whether he had expected that information or not. He walked away looking outwardly the same, but inside, he was considering all the psychological tests the Second Child could be given. 

There was something obviously not right with her, and it was imperative to know if she would compromise his schedule. Everything then. The full battery of tests; if it threatened his plan, there was no precaution he could afford to overlook. 

He would not allow her to stand in his way. 

She would have liked to explain, but he had stopped her; he wasn't really interested in what she had to say. It wasn't because she was just a stupid child; she knew totally what she was talking about. 

She had just wanted to explain and see his reaction, know what he was thinking. A thought she had often enough before, but had held a different meaning, came back to her. Why was he so hard to deal with? Why wouldn't he.... 

That was reserved strictly for her dreams though. Why wouldn't he open up? Because that just wasn't part of his personality. He would never do such a thing willingly, but that didn't mean she couldn't pry him open with her cunning. 

He'd definitely be tough though, since Commander Ikari was the master of such things, but she was pretty darn good too. She could get people to react the way she wanted. 

So with the commander that would just mean sticking to him a bit more closely. She need to exploit all the opportunities she got. 

* * *

A sleepless night wasn't all that unusual for him. Over the previous eleven years, he had spent too many nights staring blankly at the television in his richly furnished apartment, not seeing or hearing the world news as it was reported. 

In one hand, he would hold a glass of brandy, settling comfortably into his cycle of self-doubt and regret, interspersed with moments of hatred and near-obsessive planning. His other hand would rest in his lap, completely unmoving, as if it were no longer a part of him. 

Infrequently, his lips would move, forming a name. Always this was followed by a moment of trembling, and then he would be still again. 

This night was the same. Yet, amidst his cycling emotions was something new. Not unknown to him, but different than usual. Anger and a little confusion at Pilot Langley. 

Anger at her flippant behavior and casual attitude toward the Project when it was the most important thing in the world to him. And confusion at just what she was trying to accomplish. This sudden change in her was one he didn't understand, and he wasn't sure he wanted to try. 

She was, after all, only a girl, and children often shifted moods and attitudes abruptly for little reason. Except for Rei, but to expect her to be anything like other children her age was ludicrous. 

A soft chirping from the other room roused him from his thoughts. He remained seated as he listened to the phone ring. It had to be something fairly important for someone to call at such a time of night. 

It continued to ring. 

If it was that important, they would send someone for him. He didn't need to answer it. 

No answer. No surprise really. Fuyutsuki sighed. Why did he have to be the sub-commander? Why couldn't it have been someone else? He was tired of dealing with it all: the children, the EVAs, NERV, Ikari.... 

"Sir?" 

"Continue to monitor, captain. Then we can at least form a more complete report." 

"Yes, Sir." The young man turned crisply on his heel and went back to his station. 

Not every blurb or glitch was worth reporting to Ikari anyway as he had two operating modes, neither easy to deal with: uncaring and ruthless. 

The stressed sub-commander was not in the mood to deal with either one, and if Ikari wasn't going to answer the phone, then why get overly worked up over it? Because if he didn't.... 

It really wasn't fun to be the sub-commander. 

Misato sat up in bed, eyes glued firmly shut. Her head was throbbing, she was too warm, and worst of all, her bladder was about to explode. 

Forcing herself to her feet, hesitant to open her eyes lest she gain full alertness, Misato swore never to drink to excess. Again. One day, she figured she might try to follow through with it. Then again.... 

She exited her room quietly, making as little noise as possible. Shinji was a pretty sound sleeper, but sometimes Asuka would wake up at the slightest creak of the floor. And when the queen was awakened, she was an absolute nightmare. 

The apartment was still and quiet though, indicating both children were deeply asleep. Too bad she couldn't say the same for herself though. 

A quick emptying of her bladder and Misato was making her way back to her room and her bed. In the middle of the night with her head somewhere between drunkenness and hangover, there was nothing she liked better than pure si.... 

Was that a moan? 

Wobbling down the hall to stand in front of Asuka's door, Misato listened. It sure had sounded like a moan; maybe it didn't need investigating, but if Asuka was sick.... 

There it was again, and it sure didn't sound like a moan of illness. 

Misato opened the door as gently as she could and peeked inside. On one hand, she was dreading what possibilities awaited her, and on the other... she really dreaded it. 

When she saw Asuka perfectly alone in her bed, Misato released a silent sigh of relief. It must have been just a dream then. Smiling softly at the form of her charge tangled in the sheets, Misato started to shut the door. 

"Oh... mm...." Asuka mumbled as sensually as an asleep 14 year old could. 

Misato just shook her head and wondered who the lucky boy was. If Asuka was as juvenile as she tried not to be, it was probably Shinji on her mind. 

"Ohh," Asuka moaned and writhed around, "Commander...." 

Misato's brain immediately turned to mush. She had to be hallucinating, just **had** to be. Quickly shutting the door, she hurried back to her own room. She tried desperately to get it out of her mind that Asuka had been dreaming about.... 

With a shudder, Misato got into bed and tried to get some sleep. 

* * *

"Good morning!" 

"Good morning, Asuka. Breakfast is almost ready." 

"Excellent, Shinji." Asuka smoothed her dress out before she sat primly in one the chairs at the table. "And how are you, Misato?" 

Misato could only stare. 

"Hm? Is there something wrong, Misato?" Asuka asked with genuine concern. 

Misato wasn't quite sure how to answer. There was definitely something wrong, but it wasn't with her. Of course, just knowing was enough to make her queasy. "I... suppose not," she answered quietly. 

"Oh. Okay." The odd reaction from her guardian didn't phase Asuka at all. "When will that be done, Shinji? It smells heavenly." 

Misato could only stare. That wasn't like Asuka at all. Whatever was going on, she didn't like it at all. 

Asuka in a good mood was almost as dangerous as Asuka in a bad mood. 

"Good morning, Sir! I had another dream about you." 

Gendo deigned not to answer her. 

"So... is there anything I should do?" she asked, lightly bouncing on her toes. 

He glanced up at her, then looked back down. "No. You are dismissed." 

"Aww. There's got to be something." 

She didn't see the gentle crease form on his forehead, or the tiny frown. "No, you are excused, pilot," he said with more firmity in his voice. 

"Are you sure? I'll just be sitting around all day otherwise." 

The crease grew deeper, the frown larger. "Pilot, leave this office immediately." 

"You're sure you don't need anything?" 

Asuka took an involuntary step backward when he looked up at her. There was no mistaking the anger on his face. 

"Pilot, we are having a failure to communicate here. I said leave. Do you understand?" Gendo didn't raise his voice, but the anger in it was loud and clear. 

"Yes, Sir, but--" 

"Pilot Langley...." 

Asuka watched in dreadful curiosity. The commander seemed to be having trouble speaking, like he didn't know what to say. 

"Leave or I will have security escort you out." 

"But I just wanted...." 

That was it. Gendo stood and marched over to Asuka. Without any words, he put one hand on her shoulder and turned her around. 

"Sir, you're so forceful," Asuka commented as he pushed her toward the door. "You just need to ask...." 

The grip tightened painfully for a moment, cutting off Asuka's words and making her squirm. "Sir...." 

At the door, with Gendo ignoring the pain he was obviously causing, he leaned forward to grasp the handle. 

Asuka tilted her head back and to the side as he leaned over her. She was pulled back against him as he opened the door, and her nose brushed against the high collar of his shirt as he stood upright. It was just enough for him to feel it. 

He looked down at her, and to her eyes, he was startled by the relatively incidental contact. What better timing could she ask for? She just had to do it. 

Not allowing herself to consider any consequences, she spun around, leaned her body against his, reached up and pulled his head down, all in one fluid motion. 

And then she kissed him. 

------------------------------ 

End Part 4 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



	5. Part 5

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project 5

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

She counted to twelve, the number of times her heart beat, before she let the kiss go. It hadn't been anything to speak of since she had been the only active participant, but there was something she just couldn't help but feel giddy about it. 

"That was all I wanted, Sir. For now." Very carefully controlling her swirling feelings, trying to appear as if she knew what she was doing utterly, Asuka turned and left the office, just waiting for him to call out. Whether it was outrage or curiosity, or anything else, it would mean she had gotten to him. She had pierced his shell. 

He didn't though. Asuka hadn't earned that look back yet. In time she was sure she would, but she had wanted it so badly right then. She had felt, as she pulled her lips from his, the gentle, maybe hesitant, or maybe automatic kiss, like he hadn't quite been willing to let it go. 

Asuka sighed. Still, it could have gone better, but she wasn't going to discount what had happened. Of course, what he would do next was completely unknown to her. Maybe she should have considered the consequences after all. 

What was done was done though; there was no going back, so she couldn't have any regrets. And it was kind of fun to think that he might have enjoyed it, if even for a moment. 

Whistling quietly to herself, Asuka walked off into the depths of NERV. 

Outrage. That was his first feeling. Outrage didn't manage to get a complete thought out before confusion took over. Gendo hated being confused. It was something he had tried to eliminate from his life before Second Impact. 

Yet, here it had cropped up again, and all because of the Second Child and her... advances. Whatever was going on, she couldn't be at NERV as she was any longer, and she most certainly couldn't... help him with anything. 

Back to school. That's where she'd go, and she wouldn't pull another stunt like that. If she did... there were going to be dire consequences. 

Wiping his mouth on the back of his glove, Gendo returned to his chair. There were more important things to worry about. 

* * *

"Something wrong, Ikari?" 

Gendo wiped his mouth again. "Nothing." 

Fuyutsuki nodded. He didn't really believe it, but there was no point in pursuing the matter any further. 

For Gendo, there wasn't anything wrong per se, but he simply couldn't get rid of the fruity taste on his lips. Obviously the Second Child had been wearing something when she had... but it shouldn't have lasted for so long. 

Outrage was beginning to take hold of him again, but it was tempered by the fact that he simply could not allow that girl to get to him like that. He couldn't allow it, couldn't lose control so easily. Not to a child, not to anyone. 

Asuka had enjoyed her day at NERV, even if it had consisted mainly of sitting around and doing nothing. The morning had started out a bit shakily, but it had improved quickly. At least she thought so, and she hadn't been hunted down by security or requested back in the commander's office. 

Though it wouldn't have been too bad really. She would just convince him that she was serious. At least he took her seriously, treated her like an adult. Not like Kaji. Kaji who only considered her a child when she was probably as mature as he was. Too bad he had missed his chance, and she had moved on. 

Now all she had to do was form a solid plan of action. This was too delicate to play by ear, too entirely delicate. One wrong move could mean... very bad things. 

This was cobra against mongoose, and the cobra's venom was no less deadly. She, however, could be just as tenacious and wily as a mongoose when it served her purposes. 

The commander would never know what hit him. 

* * *

Misato eyed Asuka as the three sat at the table for dinner. The girl seemed completely normal, even goign so far as to not yell at Shinji, which worried Misato more than anything. If Asuka was anything, it sure wasn't a normal girl. "So," she ventured hesitantly, "how was your day, Asuka?" 

"Fine. Boring mostly." 

"The commander didn't have anything for you to do?" 

Misato wasn't sure whether that was a tiny smile on Asuka's face or not. 

"Nope. Nothing to do. I'm sure he'll think of something eventually." 

"I'm sure." Misato watched Asuka eat for another moment, then returned to her own food. There was definitely something churning in the pilot's mind, and Misato's instincts were warring. Protect the child, or stay the hell out of Commander Ikari's affairs. 

Misato winced. That had been a bad choice of words. 

"Is everything all right, Misato?" Shinji asked, catching the look on her face. 

"It's fine, Shinji. Just... have some things on my mind tonight." 

"Ah." Shinji continued eating, paying Asuka's oddly upbeat mood no mind at all. 

* * *

"You're acting strangely, Ikari. Everyone can tell. If you don't want to say why, not that I expect you to, at least try to... to..." 

"Get myself together? Is that it?" 

"Yes. It's distracting the personnel to have you acting so oddly." 

Gendo's lip quirked in amusement. "They believe I'm acting oddly... So they'd prefer to have me back to my usual behavior?" 

"As odd as it may sound, and I thought it was pretty odd when I heard it, yes." 

"Professor, have you ever considered the possibility that we're wasting our lives?" 

Fuyutsuki stood frozen, his mouth hanging open. 

"I've grown weary lately," Gendo continued. "I've begun to doubt the Project." 

"But you... What about...?" 

"I know it would mean abandoning her, but sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't be best. Let her rest the way she deserves; dismantle Unit 01 once and for all." 

"Never!" 

Gendo looked at Fuyutsuki slowly. "Of course not," he said quietly. "We've come too far." 

"SEELE.... We know too much," Kozo added, very disturbed by Gendo's line of thought. 

With a shrug, Gendo turned away from the sub-commander. "Idle thoughts. Nothing more." 

"Those type of idle thoughts are best kept to yourself. The old men wouldn't be amused." 

"Neither am I, Professor." 

* * *

Asuka crawled into her bed with only one thing on her mind: getting a good night's sleep. It had been ever so much easier getting decent sleep since she had let her subconscious mind loose at night. It was still sort of weird sometimes, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. 

And she knew it took something special to... to... to be.... 

Before she could finish the thought, she was asleep. 

Gendo looked at his too large bed almost apprehensively. His body demanded sleep, but his mind wanted wakefulness. To think, to consider, to plan, to hate.... 

For once, though, he wanted to sleep, to have a brief escape from the reality he had known for too long. And to escape from the silly girl who really had no idea what she was doing. 

Doing... what she was doing...? Disturbing him. He still couldn't believe that she had kissed him. And he certainly couldn't fathom what she was trying to accomplish by doing so. What? What could it be? 

Gendo dressed for bed with that question eating at him. Settling in for the few hours sleep he would get, with pale light shining through the window, he stared up at the ceiling. It was frightening, in an abstract way, to realize he used the bed so little, he recognized no features of the ceiling. 

But then, what did he have to gain by staring at the ceiling? It served no purpose at all, and certainly did nothing to assist him with his goals. Would Yui like it? Would she like the apartment in its bare functionality? 

Of course not, but... he couldn't bring himself to change it when she was not there to see it. There was little to motivate him without her, and so getting her back was his only motivation. Life was nothing but a cruel joke to be suffered with no control over it. 

He was in a position to change that though. As long as the Second Child didn't distract him with her odd behaviors. 

* * *

Asuka smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of her. She knew he wasn't happy; he never was, but she wanted that chance to explain still. She wanted the chance to try. 

Gendo watched the Second Child as she approached his desk. Once this little meeting was over, he'd have one less thing to bother him. She appeared nervous too, which pleased him. 

"Pilot, your daily presence is no longer required. You will return to school immediately." His voice betrayed no emotion, not that he felt much about the situation anyway. 

"I'm not going back to school, and you can't make me, Sir." For emphasis Asuka crossed her arms. 

Gendo stared. He had no idea what to do. Most measure he would use weren't acceptable because of her status as an effective pilot. "You will return to school," he repeated. 

"And I told you I'm not." 

"This is not a debate." 

"You're right." 

She was doing it to him again! "You are in a unique situation, pilot. You are aware that most punishments for insubordination are not practical in your case," Gendo said evenly, his voice unchanging. 

Asuka smirked and nodded. 

"However, you can be placed in a cell and removed only when you are deemed useful." 

"Would you visit me?" 

Gendo counted silently to three. "No." He hoped his annoyance wasn't audible in his voice. He didn't want her to see him lose control again. 

"But why not? It'd be all dark and private." 

That was the last straw. Gendo slammed his palms down on his desk. "You will remain quiet!" he thundered. 

"But I was only--" 

"You will not do this again! I will not tolerate these games!" He stood, but did not come out from behind his desk. "I have tolerated your past... behavior, but this has gone too far." 

Asuka watched him, her face remaining impassive except for her lip twitching. 

Gendo's eyes narrowed. If she smiled or grinned, she would be incarcerated without a second thought. "This is not a game. I will not tolerate this behavior any longer." He paused, still trying to think of an appropriate punishment. 

"What's wrong, Commander? What did I do?" Asuka asked innocently. 

"Your behavior is unacceptable." 

"What behavior?" 

Gendo's left hand clenched. "I will not play this game. This childish behavior is not amusing." 

"Who's trying to be amusing?" 

That was it. "Pilot," Gendo said through grit teeth. 

"It wasn't that bad, was it? I know it wasn't great, but I tried my best. I was just doing the same thing that was in my dream." 

With abrupt intensity, Gendo's head had begun to pound. "Get out," he whispered with undisguised weakness. "Get out of this office, get out of my sight." 

"Don't you want to hear about my dream?" 

"Second Child...." 

"I thought you'd be flattered. Or is that beneath you? I may be young, but that doesn't mean I'm not mature." 

Gendo stared. What was she saying, this child? What was she trying to do? He couldn't stand it any longer. "What are you trying to accomplish?" His arms, still barely supporting him as he leaned on the desk, felt like rubber. 

Asuka smiled. "Just trying to get what I want." 

With his stomach churning almost violently, Gendo stood up straight and walked out form behind his desk, past the Second Child, and out the door. He wasn't sure where he was going, but as long as it was away from her, then it was fine. 

Asuka watched him go. That had been totally unexpected. She must have really gotten to him to make him just leave like that. He hadn't even gotten that upset. Was she losing her touch? Was that what had started the whole situation to begin with? 

She was still thinking things over when Sub-commander Fuyutsuki appeared in the doorway. He looked at her and the otherwise empty office, frowning slightly before speaking. "Where's Commander Ikari?" 

"He just walked out, didn't say where he was going." There wasn't anything better than confounding people with the truth. 

The sub-commander narrowed his eyes, but didn't speak, before he disappeared as abruptly as he had appeared. 

What must he be thinking? Asuka giggled. Really though, she should have gone after him, at least silently. Who knew what he was doing? He could have been calling security, or talking to Misato, or even worse, her father. 

Going back to Germany was not an option. 

Security. Call them and have them deal with her. He didn't trust himself any longer, and he'd just proven that he couldn't handle her. His hand was tucked firmly into his pocket to hide the fact that it was shaking, however slightly, and he couldn't stop it. 

For a moment, he considered consulting Dr. Akagi, but dismissed the idea quickly. There wasn't anything she could help him with, other than to continue her work on the Project. 

The realization struck him, and regret almost welled up from within. There was no one except those he needed for the Project. There were no actual people on the Project to turn to, only the tools he needed. The closest thing to an actual human being was his second-in-command, but they certainly weren't friends. There was too much between them for that to ever be a truth. 

There was always Katsuragi. Not to speak to, but to inform her that she should keep a closer watch on the Second Child. The major had to be more firm with her discipline. Yes, put the pressure on Katsuragi and they would fall in line. 

Yet that wouldn't be enough. It had to be more drastic, more personal. She had to know this wasn't a game. So far, nothing feasible had come to mind on how to do that while not jeopardizing her status. Eliminating a pilot would not be conducive to his scenario. 

There was the idea of calling her father, but sending her back to Germany was out of the question, even if that was where he thought she belonged. 

Gendo absolutely refused to believe the only thing he could do was take the antics of the little monster. He was the supreme commander of NERV; he should have been able to find someone to deal with her for him. Damn the angels and the necessity of 14 year-old pilots. 

* * *

Asuka's heart was beating unusually fast. "What have you been doing?" Ritsuko asked as she marked on her clipboard. 

"What do you mean?" the girl asked in reply, knowing that her heart rate was up and why. 

"Your heart rate is up significantly. I'd almost say you ran down here, but I know you better than that." Ritsuko almost cracked a smile, but she couldn't quite shake the anger from... the incident. Asuka seemed to have dropped it though, and it was best to keep things as non-hostile as possible. 

"I didn't run," Asuka said, maybe a bit too quickly. 

"It's not a problem. Just a little odd for you." Ritsuko turned to prepare the various other implements to finish the exam. It was odd how erratic Asuka was acting. Certainly she was the least docile of the three children, but she was normally consistent in her imperiousness. 

As she turned back around with thermometer in hand, Ritsuko got a look of Asuka with an odd facial expression. Her eyes were closed and her head was down slightly with her hair framing her face. There was a tiny smile touching the corners of her lips. She looked totally relaxed and at peace. 

"Asuka?" Ritsuko said gently, and watched the girl's eyes open slowly. "I'm ready to continue." 

The smile that had faded when the Second Child had opened her eyes returned. "Sorry about that. Guess I was daydreaming." She tossed her head, sending her hair cascading down her back; she offered her ear. 

Finally, a tiny grin broke across Ritsuko's face. "This will only take a couple minutes." 

Misato was sipping from a styrofoam cup of steaming coffee when Ritsuko entered. She looked tired, but not as weary as she usually did. Misato didn't say anything until her friend had filled her own mug with coffee and approached. 

"Can I?" Ritsuko motioned at the table. 

"Go ahead. You're looking not as dead as usual today." 

With a tired smile, Ritsuko nodded. "Thanks." 

"Good day?" 

"Not really. Just... weird, I suppose." 

Misato nodded. It was certainly something she could empathise with. 

Ritsuko took a drink from her mug and released a grateful sigh. "That hits the spot." 

Again, Misato nodded, then took a drink form her own cup. Rare peace and quiet around NERV; sometimes she just wanted to bury herself in the silence. 

"Strange though, when I was giving Asuka her exam, she was acting... different." 

Misato lifted her head and looked curiously across the table. "Different?" 

"Yeah. She practically fell asleep; said she was daydreaming. When has that girl ever daydreamed?" Ritsuko shook her head, an ironic grin on her face. 

"I don't know about daydreams..." Misato mumbled. 

"What?" 

"Nothing. I've been noticing her acting weird lately too. That's all." 

"I suppose when you're young, it's perfectly acceptable to act strangely without question. Ah, to be young again." 

"Hey! I'm not that old!" 

* * *

"Hi, Kaji!" Asuka almost squealed, trying to sound like she was actually happy to see him. As long as he believed that, he wouldn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. She grabbed his arm tightly so he'd give in faster to her demands, though he'd assume he was doing her a favor. 

"Hey there, Asuka," he answered cheerily, wearing that same grin he always did when he dealt with her. 

Asuka had to stop herself from snarling at him. How fake and insincere could he get? "Can you do me a favor?" she asked sweetly instead. 

"Sure, Asuka. What is it?" He was still walking, paying as little attention to her as he could. 

"Could you tell me where Commander Ikari lives?" 

"And why would you want to know that? I don't think he'd appreciate whatever you're planning on doing with that information." 

"Please, Kaji?" She gave him her best pleading and pathetic look. He always gave in to it. 

He stopped and looked down at her. "I'll find out. He deserves whatever you're going to do anyway, just don't tell anyone where you found out." 

Asuka nodded solemnly. "I promise, I won't." 

"That's a good girl. I'll see you around." He pulled free of her grasp and walked away. 

"Dummkopf." 

* * *

"I thought you were going to miss the meeting." 

"As much as I would prefer to, no." 

Fuyutsuki nodded. That was more like the Gendo Ikari he was used to. "The Second Child told me you left your office--" 

"What else did she tell you?" 

Kozo blinked. "Nothing. It was still strange though." 

Gendo replied with a nod, but no words. 

"There is something very odd with you, Ikari, though I won't pretend to know what." 

"I'm not quite sure either, Professor." 

"That's a change." 

"Keep it to yourself." 

With a wry smile directed straight down the hallway they were traversing, Kozo nodded. 

* * *

It was late at night, and Misato was just staring at the ceiling. She wanted to be asleep, but it was just out of her reach. She knew why, but didn't like it at all. Whatever Asuka was dreaming of was nobody's business, but that horrified curiosity wouldn't leave her alone. 

With a muted growl, Misato kicked off the covers and tip-toed out of her room. There was silence from Shinji's room as was the norm. Giving the door an approving nod first, she moved to listen at Asuka's door. She leaned her ear against the door and waited. 

Silence. No moaning, no snoring, nothing. Swearing silently to herself, Misato opened the door and peered inside. She was disappointed to find Asuka curled up and sleeping soundly. 

Maybe it had been an isolated incident. Probably. Just one of those weird things, like the time she had had that dream about Ritsuko and some banana pudding. That didn't mean she was in love with Ritsuko or anything, so Asuka probably didn't have a thing for Commander Ikari. 

After closing the door, Misato went back to her room. She hadn't discovered what she had been expecting to find, happily, but her curiosity was satiated. Finally, she could get some sleep. 

Gendo swirled his glass of brandy, watching the liquid cling desperately to the sides of the glass. It was an appropriate visualization of the situation they were all in. However, he had a much easier time breaking the glass and letting its contents loose than breaking the glass of reality he was in. 

For a brief moment, his arm tensed in preparation to hurl the glass against one blank wall, but he held himself back at the last moment. He began swirling the alcohol around again. 

He stared into it, hypnotized by the miniature whirlpool and the light reflecting off of it. Then he closed his eyes and tried to picture her face. Her image was growing fainter, becoming more and more of a blurred ideal than the visage of his wife. 

The solemn vow he had made each time before this was repeated. And he knew it would be repeated time and again after. 

Before that picture faded completely, he would achieve his goal. Before he could forget what she really looked like, she would be with him once more. And then they would never be apart. 

------------------------------ 

End Part 5 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



	6. Part 6

These characters and situations belong to Gainax, Hideaki Anno, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Slow Burn

## 

Asuka's Project 6

by [fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com][1]

* * *

Asuka watched him avoiding looking at her. She had Misato's magazine held up in front of her face to appear less obvious. She was less obvious, but more conspicuous at the same time. She just **knew** he was silently squirming, wishing she wasn't there. 

That didn't make her feel better though. She didn't want him to squirm and find her presence distasteful; he was supposed to want to have her around. So far, her progress on that front was minimal. 

It had been fun though. Who would ever believe how easily she had gotten under the commander's skin? Not even she quite believed it. Maybe he was setting her up again, and he wasn't really bothered at all. 

But no. He **had** been flustered by her behavior, he **had** been surprised by her kiss. It wasn't like him to be so... skittish? with anyone though. Certainly she'd have to follow up on this. There was no way she was going to just drop it, forget that it had happened. 

Asuka sighed loudly, not even realizing it. She **could** see it. She could see how tense he was, and for a precious moment, he looked down at her. A smile crept to her lips, almost shy. He quickly looked away though, transforming her smile into a frown. 

This would simply not do. 

"Asuka-chan, I have a little something for you." 

Asuka's eyes gleamed when she heard Kaji speak from behind her. She whirled around, a wide smile plastered on her face. "You got it?" 

Kaji strode forward, a slip of paper held confidently between two fingers. "Of course, I did. Did you think I couldn't?" 

Snatching the paper from his hand, Asuka ignored his smugness. It just wasn't worth dealing with. Glancing at what was on the paper first, she smiled up at Kaji, and tucked it into her pocket. "Thanks! I know right what I can do with this." 

Without another word or look, she turned and hurried off. Kaji was no longer any of her concern. 

* * *

In the darkness and privacy of her room, Asuka held the slip of paper up and stared at it. Without light, she couldn't quite read it, but she had already memorized it as soon as she had gotten the chance. 

The next step was to make a plan and execute it. That sounded simple enough, but even for someone as smart and confident as herself, it wouldn't be easy. After all, this was not only her commanding officer, but he was also the closest thing to a living stone. 

She would have to break through that granite exterior somehow. And that would have to be the very basis of her plan. Plan.... This would be a process, and there was no was to say how long it would take. 

It would take daily evaluation of the situation to determine just when to make her move. Her move.... How strange that sounded. She had never really made a move on anyone--Kaji didn't count--and here she was, going after the commander. 

The commander.... Ikari Gendo. If Shinji were half the man his father was.... 

Asuka tucked the paper beneath her pillow. She couldn't really make plans so late at night when her thinking was less than optimal. She'd just have to wait until the next day when she was fully awake. 

Even if she didn't want to. 

* * *

At school, Shinji looked over at the empty seat and sighed just a little. It wasn't the same without her there, even if he didn't miss her torment. And walking to school was... peaceful, yes, but so... mundane. The whole day just seemed less... less. 

Then at home in the evenings, Asuka seemed distant, though generally polite, which confused him. She had been plenty hard to figure out before, but she was even more so now. 

Misato had even commented on the Second Child's odd behavior, though she wouldn't give any specific examples. At any rate, he wasn't sure what was going on and knew that asking her would get him absolutely nowhere. 

Asuka was apparently finding some value in working at NERV that outweighed everything else; Shinji just wished he could find the same thing. 

[Ikari, can you give Asuka a message for me?]

Shinji blinked and glanced over at the class rep. Hikari was doing a fabulous job of hanging on the teacher's every word, though he was sure she had sent the message. 

[Sure.]

[Just tell her to call me. I haven't talked to her since she left.]

Since she left. That described it pretty well. Asuka wasn't all there; her mind was busy with something else, and he, along with Misato and Hikari, weren't worthy of her attention now. 

[I'll tell her.] Not that he thought it would do much good. 

[Thanks.]

Shinji nodded and looked at Hikari. How she could even pretend to be interested in class was beyond him. 

"Asuka?" She looked like she was a million miles away. Her attention definitely wasn't on him. "Asuka, Hikari wants you to call her." Shinji waited for her to acknowledge what he had said. Certainly, he didn't expect her to acknowledge **him**. 

Slowly, Asuka returned to full awareness of Misato's apartment, and blinked when she saw Shinji standing in front of her. "What do you want?" 

"I said, Hikari wants you to call her." He frowned as his only way of letting her know he was annoyed. 

"Right. Thanks." 

And with that, he was dismissed. She didn't even insult him. A bit miffed, confused even, Shinji walked away. Immediately, he could tell she was back thinking about something very far away from that apartment. 

As for Asuka, she had far more important things concerning her at the moment than calling Hikari. And that was Section 2. How could she get past Section 2 to get at Commander Ikari? Even if there weren't security goons surrounding him at all times, they still watched him, and of course they would be watching his apartment. 

That was really her first hurdle before all else. If she couldn't get past Section 2, nothing else would matter. Maybe she'd have to employ some unwitting help from Kaji, Commander Fuyutsuki, and Dr. Akagi. Just enough interference to allow her to slip past. But it would take research and time, and she was not a patient girl. 

"Misato?" 

Misato slurped up her noodles and looked at Asuka. "Yes?" She spared a glance at Shinji to find his attention wholly on his food. 

"What do you know about Section 2?" Asuka's food was completely untouched. 

The idea to lie flitted through Misato's mind. "What do you want to know?" she said casually. Maybe if she knew what Asuka was interested in, it'd give her a clue as to what was going on. 

The girl shrugged, totally nonchalant and relaxed. "Just curious. I heard the commander mention it a couple times, and you know I couldn't ask him about it." She smiled, giving it a secretive, knowing quality, like it was something just between the two of them. 

Hesitantly, Misato returned the smile and nodded. "Personal security. You know those guys that follow you everywhere and try to be inconspicuous? They're Section 2. Any personnel of importance is under their watchful eye." 

"So you don't have anyone guarding you?" 

Misato flushed and looked down at her food. "No," she mumbled. 

Asuka grinned good-naturedly at the response. "So they must be pretty tough guys to watch over me; I know I'm the main target of everyone's attention." 

Immediately, the look on Misato's face changed to one of skepticism. "Right." 

"So," Asuka continued casually, "they're always around?" 

"Yeah." For a moment, a strange feeling overcame the older woman. "Why are you so interested in Section 2? I thought you were annoyed at the extra security we insist on providing you." 

"Oh, I am. I was just curious," Asuka answered simply, doing her best to convey it as truth. "And how might one...." She shrugged, idly running her finger along the edge of the table. "You know... accidentally lose them?" 

"Asuka, no. They are not that bad. Not bad enough to risk your safety. We won't let you dismiss them just because you don't like them." Misato's lips were pinched into a thin line as proof of her unwavering position on the matter. 

Something clicked in Asuka's mind and her eyes lit up. "But... all the Section 2 guys know everyone else, right? If you had some guarding you, they'd know me and Shinji and Wondergirl, right?" 

Misato nodded, her features softening. "Sure." Now she was really confused as to what was going on with the girl. "What are you up to?" 

"Nothing. Thanks, Misato." Asuka stood and hurried back to her room, the gears of her mind spinning madly. She wouldn't have to get around Section 2; she could go right through them. 

Why would they care if a pilot was going to see the commander? She wasn't planning on attacking him or anything; she just wanted to.... To what? She wasn't totally sure really. Maybe it was so she could just... 

Flopping on her bed, Asuka stared at the ceiling. Just what was she doing? It was insane. More than insane! Yet, she had already done something she couldn't take back, and she didn't want to. Why should she feel bad about it? Guilty over it? 

It wasn't like he had rejected her. He was just... confused, and for that, she couldn't blame him. If their roles had been reversed, why, she'd have been furious! Of course, she was 14, and someone his age taking advantage of someone so young was incredibly improper. 

Being young certainly had its advantages. 

* * *

"You're doing it again." 

Gendo glanced at Fuyutsuki and noted the amused look on the older man's face. 

"This is starting to look like an obsession with you." Fuyutsuki waited for a moment to give Gendo a chance to say something. To his unsurprise, Gendo remained silent. "That troubling?" 

"Possibly." 

The sub-commander's eyebrows rose. "Oh really?" he said in a far more interested tone than he had intended. He quickly cleared his throat and tried to reclaim his normally neutral expression. 

Resuming his contemplation, Gendo put one hand in front of his mouth again and unconsciously began to rub. 

Fuyutsuki noticed, but made no comment this time. 

* * *

Gendo stared blankly at the flickering TV, glowering. The problem with the Second Child would not leave him alone, and it had started to affect his behavior, as Fuyutsuki had noted earlier that evening. That was not good in multiple ways. Obsessing over it accomplished nothing, and over the girl was unacceptable. 

As much as he simply wanted to dismiss her, he couldn't. This was more than just his pride being hurt. It had very little to do with pride actually. It was something... deeper, something he couldn't explain. 

* * *

Asuka pushed her chair away from the table with authority. 

Shinji looked up at her, noting the purpose with which she moved. It was like... finality, like she was ready to tell them she was leaving or something. "Was breakfast okay?" 

"Perfectly fine, Shinji," she answered in a detached tone. 

Misato glanced up, noting the odd tone as well. 

"I think I'll be heading out now. Give those Section 2 guys a workout." Asuka stood, gave her two housemates a perfunctory smile, then exited the kitchen. 

Shinji looked to Misato, who was looking through the kitchen doorway. 

She turned to him and shrugged. "I have no idea." Misato wasn't about to tell him what she'd heard Asuka say in her sleep, but she could see the worry on the boy's face. Something would have to be done about this soon. 

Asuka sat on the train, using the somewhat roundabout route to NERV and the time it afforded her to think. She needed to do more, needed to.... She clenched her fist and slammed it on the seat. 

She needed to prove herself! If only for herself, she needed to demonstrate that she was strong enough to take what she wanted, the same way he would. That was what she needed to do: prove herself to be his equal. 

So that meant.... Damn. She was still without a plan on how to actually do that. 

Ritsuko's lab coat fluttered as Asuka breezed past at a pace the doctor didn't even know she was capable of. "What the...." 

Asuka was out of sight before Ritsuko could even finish her thought. "Er... okay." Shaking her head momentarily, Ritsuko continued on her way. 

Eyes burning with determination, Asuka cruised down the hall, hair flowing behind her. This time she would begin the process of showing him she wasn't to be brushed aside. The Second Child was a force to be reckoned with. 

Her footsteps echoed as she stalked down the corridor, approaching the office of the commander. To hell with courtesy; she would afford him the same courtesy he gave her, no more, no less. If he insisted in treating her like a thing, then she would do the same. Any game he could play, she could as well. 

Without pausing to think too deeply about what she was doing, Asuka opened the door and marched right into the office. "Commander," she began imperiously, "I demand an explanation." She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. 

Gendo regarded the girl silently. She demanded an explanation? Interesting in a cursory way. "Go away. You have ceased to be amusing." 

He had expected her to explode, as was her normal reaction. Instead, she returned his calm gaze. 

"I'm not going anywhere because I don't think you're very amusing either." 

"You will obey my orders." 

"No, I won't, because you're just saying that to get out of this situation; there's nothing for me to do and you know it." 

At least this behavior Gendo could deal with, not like she was before. This behavior he was well acquainted with because... because.... 

"You will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. You will treat me the way a pilot should be; not like your personal slave you can just ignore and then throw away when you're done." 

The words escaped in a humiliating moment of weakness. "No, you're not." To his unexpressed shame, the girl stopped blathering to just stare at him. 

Going through his routine of relaxation and resetting his mask, Gendo spoke without the weakness this time. "Pilot, you are already treated beyond what you deserve. Leave." He had wanted to sound firm with her, but his voice wouldn't cooperate. Instead he ended up sounding soft and ineffectual. 

Asuka heard the difference in his voice and decided to take a chance. "Sir," she began softly, approaching the desk, "I pilot to your standards. All I want is your recognition." 

Not the total truth, but she did have to pilot to his expectations or she could be shipped back to Germany. "Please. We would all get along so much better if you'd just--" 

Abruptly, Gendo stood, almost causing her to step back, but she held her ground. "Pilot, you are dismissed." 

Even through his glasses, in the dim light of the room, when his eyes met hers, she could see the heat of the moment in them. He was not happy, which sent an odd thrill up her spine. "I'm not going anywhere until you see that--" 

"Will this be a repeat of before?" 

She didn't think it was exactly what he meant, but Asuka couldn't pass up such a fabulous opportunity. "I hope so." 

His brow furrowed. 

"Don't... don't you.... I won't do it again unless you--" 

"How many times do I have to repeat myself? You are a child. The fact that you think this is... something shows how immature you actually are." 

Sighing, Asuka looked at the desktop, at her own dejected reflection. "You think you've got everything worked out, know just how it's all going to go," she said quietly. "Things don't work that way thought. You can't plan for every contingency; something will always slip through." Turning her eyes back up, she noted the subtle way his breathing had changed. He was covering it very well, but not well enough. "No plan is perfect." 

The moment stretched, and Asuka wasn't sure just what was going to happen. She wasn't sure anyone had ever seen the commander like this, and she wasn't so sure she wanted to either. 

"I will hold you personally responsible for any problems from now on, pilot," he said and barely managed not to hiss it at her. 

Asuka got the impression not of a snake, but of a large cat with flattened ears, warning her to keep away. She couldn't allow herself to be so easily intimidated though. "I'll take responsibility, but you won't do anything to me." 

He stood to his full height, and finally the snake came through. Still, Asuka would not back down. She couldn't let the situation get away from her. It wasn't necessary for her to carry it, be in control, but she couldn't let the commander get out of control either; who knew what would happen then. 

"You are mistaken if you think you are irreplaceable." 

In that moment, he had gained a measure of control over things, which she couldn't allow. She wanted him perfectly off-balance; Asuka wasn't so cocky to believe she could actually get the best of the commander, but as long as she kept him doubting, wondering, things would play into her hands. Hopefully. 

"I'm not Rei; I'm not your little doll, and I won't allow you to bully me like this. I **am** irreplaceable. So are Rei and Shinji." The fact that he thought her replaceable.... The more it sat in her brain, the angrier Asuka got. That anger riled thoughts she wouldn't have ever considered saying aloud. "We're not any more replaceable than your wife was." 

"Security." He spoke too weakly and no one outside the office could hear him. "Security!" 

This time he was heard, and two of Section Two's finest, with guns drawn, burst in. "Sir!" 

"Take this girl to a holding cell," he said quietly, but with authority as he looked at the Second Child. 

The two agents looked at Asuka as well. "Sir, the Second Child?" one asked hesitantly. 

"Yes." 

Receiving confirmation, the two holstered their guns, then stood on either side of Asuka. "Let's go." 

"It's not so easy. You can't keep me down there," Asuka said loudly, making it sound distinctively like a threat. 

"I can, and I will." Gendo nodded at the security agents, who swiftly removed Asuka. 

She kept a calm and controlled look on her face, but inside she was frightened. The commander didn't make idle threats, so if he had something planned for her.... For once, she didn't bother with her indignant act; Section Two, with orders from Commander Ikari, wouldn't care how big of a fuss she made. 

Asuka glanced up at the faces of the men escorting her through NERV and noted the hard expressions. The temporary confusion at being ordered to arrest the Second Child was no longer there. She was actually rather surprised they had showed any hesitation at all. 

"What do you think the commander will do to you two for questioning his orders?" she asked in both curiosity and spite. 

"Don't be scared," the one on her left answered. "It's just a holding cell, not a torture chamber." 

"Yeah," the other added. "Whatever you did, you must've really pissed him off. I could hear his voice down the hall." The two shared a chuckle. 

They hadn't heard that first pleading call though. Only Asuka had. It made her doubt that he was as mad as security believed. 

* * *

"Hi, Misato." 

"Asuka, what did you do!?" she screeched. It was clear from her voice that she wasn't so much concerned with that as what action would be taken against her charge. 

"It's... no big deal. I guess I deserved it," the girl answered, not exactly sounding nonchalant, but certainly unconcerned. 

"The commander is going to hear about this. We can't have a viable pilot in **jail**. And a child to boot." 

Asuka sighed. "I'm not a child, and don't go running to my rescue. It's not necessary. I'm sure it'll all blow over and then everything will be back to normal." 

"Asuka--" 

"No, Misato. It doesn't matter to me. You should know that he won't do anything that might upset his precious schedule." And she knew he would never tell anyone what had really happened. 

"The commander...." Misato shook her head. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but it's a dangerous one." 

At that, Asuka grinned. "Maybe, but sometimes the risk is worth it." 

Sighing first, Misato said, "I'll get you out as soon as possible. And I'd reconsider those risks." The woman left the cell without a glance back. 

Asuka was plunged back into darkness and went to relax on the cot. Of course, all this time in quiet solitude gave her a chance to think. Her plan needed work; there was no way she was going to abandon it now. It did occur to her that she was probably overmatched, that she'd never break through that wall, but she wasn't going to quit just yet. 

Perhaps a direct confrontation. Just go ahead and tell him her intentions, what she wanted out of it all. That would, in all likelihood, accomplish nothing, but not doing anything **definitely** accomplished nothing. She rolled to her side and stared at where the door was. Of course he wouldn't visit her; that had been an attempt to shake him, and maybe it had even worked. 

But what did it get her? Nothing. What was she hoping to get out of all this ultimately? She asked herself that for about the hundredth time, and still she seemed hesitant to answer her own question. A sense of accomplishment? Hardly. She wasn't interested in just knowing she had gotten to him. The comment about his wife had been little more than an emotional low-blow. She wanted... to have him. **That** would be the goal. 

Like taming Kaji had been a goal, tame the wild stallion, this was just that much more difficult. This was akin to making a pet of a shark or wolverine. How did a girl threaten a beast with no natural predators? Asuka didn't know, but she was going to try. 

And at this point, with her original plan ready to fall into shambles, Asuka was willing to go with the straight ahead approach. It seemed to be the only really viable option left. 

All she had to do was avoid getting thrown in a cell again. 

* * *

Time passed, but Asuka couldn't tell how much when the door finally opened. Misato had gotten her out, and not a moment too soon. Her stomach was starting to make its annoyance known very loudly. "It's about...." When she rolled over to face the door, she didn't see the silhouette she had been expecting. 

He didn't say anything as he stepped through the doorway. The door closed silently, ominously behind him, plunging the cell into cold blackness once again. 

"I thought you said you weren't going to do this," Asuka ventured with far more bravery than she felt. 

When her words went without reply, she tried again. "You know, visit me." 

Still he refused to answer her, and in the dark cell, Asuka couldn't even be sure he was really there. 

"Do you realize how you've tried my patience?" His voice floated to her with an eerie otherworldly quality. 

Asuka groaned. "Not this again. We already went through all of it before you threw me in here," she said, flopping back on the cot. "Now you're trying **my** patience." 

"You have no idea--" 

"No, you have no idea how irritating it is to rehash the same argument again. I know I'm trying your patience, and I know you don't think I know what I'm getting into, and maybe I don't, but doesn't it go 'live and learn'?" Asuka said, somewhere between begging and preaching. 

"You have no idea what you're saying. This is not an experiment. This is the difference between survival and the destruction of humanity," Gendo intoned solemnly. 

Asuka almost believed him. "A convenient way to blow off anyone who gets in your way," she answered derisively. "And if that's what you think, that I'm in your way, then... you're wrong." 

This time, Gendo stayed silent, giving Asuka an opening to continue. 

"I know what's at stake," she said quietly. "I don't just pilot for the reasons people think I do. I had it drilled into my head when I was still training that it would be more critical than I could imagine one day." She laughed a little. "I was young. I ate it up. And I still believe; I know the angels aren't attacking for the fun of it all. 

"I'm not trying to cause trouble. I just want.... I just want you." 

"You don't." 

"How would you know?" 

"You are a child." 

"I'm young. I certainly wouldn't say I'm a child, not after what I've been through." The sour expression on her face was known only to herself. 

"You are immature, whether your experiences lead you to believe otherwise." 

Asuka sighed. "Think whatever you want, but it doesn't change things at all. You can leave now. This isn't going to accomplish anything; you're not going to change my mind, and I won't change yours." 

There was silence again. Not even their breathing was audible. And then a footstep as Gendo turned on his heel. 

"I don't love you, you know," Asuka said suddenly, more loudly than necessary so that her voice echoed in the small cell. "I just want you." 

A brief pause. "That is a mistake." 

"Live and learn, Commander." 

Gendo snorted in response, then the door opened, blinding Asuka. 

The door closed before her eyesight could adjust, and she was plunged back into solitude. 

------------------------------ 

End Part 6 

   [1]: mailto:fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com



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